Sunday, November 30, 2008

Almost Silent Sunday

We had our first "real" snow today. I had Jason take the kids out to play while I did ChaCha. They were all kinds of antsy, Izzy especially. So they bundled up, Jason grabbed the camera, and away they went. I think for a little point and shoot he got some really great pics of them. They seem pretty self explanatory, so enjoy! Prayers and blessings everyone, try to stay warm this week! Yes, I know Izzy's jacket isn't zipped up all the way, Jason has this thing where he's afraid to pinch him with the zipper.


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Friday, November 28, 2008

Black Friday

The only shopping I did on Black Friday was to go to Target at 3 in the afternoon to pick up Playdoh for Izzy, and some dryer sheets. Target had a set of Playdoh that came in a bag with 4 cans and 10 toys for $6. I also picked up a basic 4 can set of Playdoh, to start working with Izzy now. The one with the toys is for Christmas.

We put up the tree tonight. More accurately, I put up the tree. I put it all together and then strung the lights. I let the kids put all the decorations on themselves. Jason was in the living room to take pics, of which he managed quite a few of my rear end, and to help wrangle a very curious Izzy.

Katy and Emily did an excellent job of entertaining Izzy. Katy kept swinging him up on her legs, it seems to be a really popular game now. Emily spent some time playing with the blocks with him. Toward the end of their antsiness, while I was finishing up the last of the lights, they all decided to go spinning around in circles. It was a mad house I tell you!

First up was playing with the lights. At one point or another, I had everyone watching over my shoulder. I'm not really sure WHY that was the case, but what I was doing was interesting to all of them.

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This next photo is just a random one of me that looks really odd. Jason said he was trying to use the natural light, not the flash, and this is what came of it. I told him I looked like a ghost, but he missed the reference I guess because he was pointing the shadows BEHIND me when he mentioned a "ghost".

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It's now time to play Up, Up, and Away with Izzy! Katy did this with him for what seemed like hours, at least to her I'm sure, but was in reality only a few minutes. The other kids were trying like crazy to get Katy's attention while she was doling it out to the youngest of the bunch!

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Jason decided it was time to check back in with me to see what kind of progress I was making. After all, when my part was done, he could leave and go hide away from all the crazies somewhere!

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Emily took a turn with Izzy. Playing blocks seemed to entertain them both, for at least a little bit. I'm not sure where the other 3 disappeared to during this time. You'd think that they would have been shoving themselves in front of the camera!

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Finally we get to them freaking out like the crazies that they are! I'm not sure who started it, though I have a sneaking suspicion is was Jason and Izzy, but they all ended up spinning in circles so many times they couldn't stand up!

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I leave you dear readers with this thought. Even though the youngest and oldest may get along, there will always be strife in the middle, as can be witnessed by this telling photo. Prayers and blessings everyone, I hope you have a great and relaxing weekend!

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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Day Before

I'm sure that you all are out there, just getting ready for the big feast that shall descend upon our country tomorrow.

Last minute cleaning and grocery shopping. Ironing and meal planning. Figuring out who is going to sit where at the big table and all of that stuff. Me, I'm trying to decide if I'm going to make a pumpkin roll or not.

Jason said Audra was bringing pumpkin pie. That's great, and I appreciate the contribution. My question is this, is it JUST the pumpking pie? Is it only ONE pie? Because if it is, that's not nearly enough dessert for everyone. After all, in my household alone I have 7. Yep, you read that right, 7. Emily is joining us for the holiday.

An accident occurded today. One that James almost took the fall for, but the girls got a fit of conscience and came clean. They were goofing around in the closet and Emily got knocked in to the window. The glass broke. Now, I'm not so angry about the glass being broken. Accidents happen. What upset Jason and I the most is that until it became apparent that James was going to get in trouble for it, they "didn't know how it happened".

After they came clean, I tried to explain to them that it was important to tell us what happens WHEN it happens and in FULL. We can't best assess the situation if we don't know all of the circumstances. They were told not to play in the closet. Jason cleaned up the glass. I'm clumsy and I would have cut myself at least once. He put plastic sheeting over it. Thankfully, when storm windows were originally fitted for the house, one was put over that window. It's not a window that opens, it is there for looks more than anything. I am going to call around on Monday and try to find out how much it will cost us to replace the glass.

I told Jason that I wasn't quite sure what Jenn was doing with her free weekend, but I hope she enjoys the time. He said she was doing a little jig and it didn't matter much because she was "free" for the four days. I sent an email out to the in-laws to let them know we were having an extra child in the mix. Jason jokingly said he wouldn't have said anything and waited to see if they noticed! Hehe, our house is RATHER chaotic, so who knows how it would have gone?

My darling 2 year old has taken to waking in the middle of the night and not wanting to return to slumberland until 2 or 3 in the morning. This is VERY frustrating to me. Every time, it seems, that I think of getting up and heading to bed, in walks Izzy. Jeez child!

I had the oddest dream this morning. For some reason, I was living in an assisted living home, one meant for the mentally challenged. I know I say it so PC, but saying "retarded" has always bothered me. In my dream, we all took the home's bus to the library. They wanted me to wear special shoes. They were supposed to make me walk "correctly" or something like that. I felt so out of place, so lost and confused. It's like I belonged, but I felt like I had another "life", one I should have been living. The final straw for me was when we were all getting ready to leave. Apparently we were picking up extra people there at the library and bringing them home with us. I had it, I couldn't take it any more. They wanted me to wear the shoes that I hated. They were ugly and uncomfortable for me. I told them I wouldn't be getting back on the bus, that I was leaving and going my own way. That is when Jason woke me up.

I told him about the dream. About how it made me feel so "broken". He said "Do you know the difference between Apple and Microsoft?"
"Uh, no"
"One reads the numeric code from front to back, and one reads it from back to front."
"So which one is back asswords?"
"Microsoft. Bill Gates did it as a way to avoid infringing on a patent held by Steve Jobs. It makes the computer run slower, but it also enabled him to get a lot of contracts and eventually knock out Apple as a true competitor."
"Um, ok"
"Jamie, you are like Microsoft. Your brain works just as well, it's just wired to run differently than other people's. That doesn't make you broken, it makes you different."

While that is an odd analogy. Though it makes a lot of sense. I guess my brain doesn't want to infringe on the patents of others. Maybe it allows me to be more creative. Maybe it keeps me overly optimistic when so much would bring others down. Maybe it allows me to look at my kids and really enjoy them running around and acting like true heathens. It certainly makes me who I am.

I'm having difficulty coming to terms with this concept of "true self". I'm sure there will be plenty of posts about it. I'm also sure there will be plenty of things going on that I don't post. At least not right away. They may feel to personal or too fresh. I may not have it in me to go in to it once again. Oh, and from this point on, my therapist shall be known as Deb, The Bitch. She pushes hard, and she expects something back, and I think that is good. It really makes me stop and think and respond in an honest way. That can only be healthy.

This won't be an easy road by any means. There is going to be a lot of stuff I don't want to own up to, I don't want to look at, I don't want to remember. That being said. In order for me to get to a healthy point, to be the best Wife and Mother, I need to be the best Jamie. And that is going to suck. And be so worth it.

Prayers and blessings everyone, I hope you have a wonderful and blessed holiday.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Guest Blogging this evening....Cereal Daddy!!!

Yes tonight you get to hear from the other half of the insanity as the Serial Mommy is driving around with lots of children driving her nutso. Why "Cereal" Daddy??? Because that's about what I can cook, I make pancakes, sandwiches, and a mean bowl of Cherios. So tomorrow is the day before thanksgiving and I'm wondering just how we are going to pull this one off. I know it will come together alright but it just adds to the confusion around here. I'm getting ready to (ahem) Enjoy 5 days off of work to spend with my loving family and I don't know if I'll be screaming for them to take me away for the nut house before I can go back to work. Hopefully Jamie will let me play lots of video games and read my book. Good luck with whatever you and yours are doing for this holiday, and pray to the gods and goddesses for our Heathen horde.

Peace and Love Peace and Love

Cereal Daddy

Monday, November 24, 2008

Being Shrunk

I went back to therapy today. As Jenn said "How did it feel to be shrunk?" I suppose that is a relevant term.

How did it feel, how does it feel? Odd, that's for sure. It's an hour, or little over all focused on ME. How I'm feeling. What I'm thinking. How I'm doing. I feel like I should be hanging up a mirror and admiring myself or something. It all seems rather narcissistic.

I have homework from therapy. I know, weird right? She wants me write letters to my mother that I would never send. Talking about myself as a child and how I felt and the needs I feel weren't meant and all of that. My initial reaction is to say no. I mean, after all, it's in the past, isn't that where it should lay? Last time I tried to get out my feelings about all of that, my mom and I didn't speak for almost 3 months. Yeah.

Apparently I have a low level of self worth. It seems to stem from feelings from when I was a child. Um, OK. Sure, I do buy it. However it all seems rather selfish to do all of this. What exactly will it accomplish. Obviously, I'm not sending the letters, or sharing them with anyone but Deb (the therapist) or Jason. I'll do it, but who knows where it will get me?

Apparently I'm not TRULY depressed. I probably have some depression, like borderline. I can see that. Also quite a bit of anxiety that may be masking itself as ADD symptoms. If that is the case, then I've been anxious my entire life. I suppose as we go along, we'll figure out which it really is, huh?

Therapy is a study in selfishness I am coming to find out. Or at least how I perceive selfishness to be. It's all self centered and self focused and Me Me ME. It's a bit sickening.

That being said, I realize the need in me to go. Jason is an amazing husband. Supportive, loving, caring, all that super good stuff. I can't get him to leave no matter what (that whole self worth thing again). Trust me, I've tried, he just digs his heels in more. Whatever is going on in this messed up head that is on my shoulders needs to be fixed before I actually succeed in chasing him away.

Well, I am off to knit or write or do ChaCha or something like that. Prayers and blessings everyone. I hope you have a wonderful holiday week.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Almost Silent Sunday

I'm going to admit that I've been slack. You are going to notice that suddenly I'll have posts for the past week up all at once. Sorry about that, but I've been in a funk, so here is something new.

Jason and I went out on Friday. The dinner was good. The symphony was boring. Not to mention the climbing 4 flights of stairs in heels. The seats were way far up, which in all honesty, isn't such a bad thing, at least as far as going to the symphony is concerned. That being said, the Kalamazoo Symphony leaves something to be desired. I don't know if half of them were sick or what. There around 50 string instruments. And then the rest.

Let me see. 2 Flutes. 2 Clarinets. 2 Oboes. 2 Bassoons. 3 Trombones. 1 Tuba. 2 Trumpets. 4 French Horns. 1 Percusionist, who only played the timpani. Yeah. I KNOW that with the symphony the strings will outnumber the rest of the instruments, but this seems a bit scarce to me.

So here are pics from the evening. Getting ready and all of that. No, I'm not sure why my face looks so white in the last two photos, I SWEAR it didn't look that way in the mirror in the bathroom. Ah well. No one said anything in person, so either they weren't paying that much attention or it really didn't look like that. I like the dress that I wore. Katie Ann saw it and said it would be perfect for her wedding if I wanted to wear it there, so WOOHOO on that, I don't need to buy a new one now. Looking at the pics, I don't look as pretty as I felt for some reason. Or maybe that is my perception. Who knows.

Here is the first. My hair, from the front/side, and my ever present can of Mt. Dew. I got the curls by putting it in bobby pins the night before and leaving it until about 3 in the afternoon on Friday. Hence the name "pin curls".

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Here are my clothes, all layed out on the bed. Don't mind the mess on the floor. I made the shawl myself. It has a crochet stitch that I took from a sweater pattern. I made up the dimensions of the shawl as I went.

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Here is the jewelry. What can I say, we took a lot of pics with the getting ready process. I made the brown necklace. The grey/black pearls are a gift from Jason last Christmas. I made the bracelet as well. That is mood beads. A cool thing I got from my day trip to Shipshewana. The earrings are gold and silver from Avon. The pin is silver and glass crystals that I have had for ages. I picked it up when we were doing the Renn Faire stuff for a summer (1/2 summer?).

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This is Jason. He got angry with me on Thursday night because I was on his case about what he was going to wear. I'd been asking him all week. I figured he'd better figure it out Thursday night so that it could be washed and/or ironed before we needed to walk out the door on Friday. Considering all of our "dressy" type stuff is in tubs in the basement, it was a good call.

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Here I am doing my makeup. Like I said, a lot of pics. If you look, my face is NOT all whited out. I don't know why it did that in the final pics. Kind of annoys me really. Oh well. You can see the back of my hair. It's not all curled because it's too short. I have discovered that while I would LOVE to have long sexy hair, it just annoys me as soon as it touches my neck. So long on top and tiered/layered/wedged in the back it is.

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These are the last two pics. The first is obviously just me. The 2nd is Jason and I. My sis did the honors. Pay no mind to my orangeish skin and white face. Jason tried to fix my face in Photoshop and unfortunately you can't just add red tones to just one part of the photo. Or so I understand. It was WHITER. Oh well.

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Prayers and blessings everyone, I hope that you had a pleasent weekend. Did you get your dinner stuff together for the big meal on Thursday? I bought the Turkey, everything else is being bought on Wednesday.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Funky Fun Friday

Jason and I went out tonight. We had fun, I guess. Word of advice, don't go to the symphony if you've been up all day chasing children and working and what not. There just isn't enough going on to keep your attention so you just sit and zone out listening to the music and find yourself sliding down in your seat and drifting off which isn't a good thing when you are wearing a knee length skirt and a pair of heels.

Well, now that I got past the run on sentence of the century, how was your week? Mine was off kilter if you hadn't noticed.

I got my flyer in the mail for Jo-Ann's and I got an email from Lion Brand Yarn. Oooh. There is a very simple pattern for a very nice scarf in the email. Oooh oooh the yarn for the scarf is on sale, 2 for $4! Usually it's $2.99 a piece. Woohoo!!! I'm going to make 2 scarves. One for my FIL for Christmas, and one for my Secret Santa for the 4 or More Mommies. I may do one for the Secret Santa for the March Mommies as well, but I don't know who I'm getting for that so I don't know if a scarf is right for them, they may live in Cali or Florida or some place like that! I may even do one for my dad, and I wonder if Sue wears scarves? I know Linda does. I won't be getting all of that yarn this week. Just the yarn for FIL and the Secret Santa.

Homer is out of work. I talked to him. I guess he's getting unemployment. Yippee for him. It does mean that the child support we receive will be greatly diminished, if we see it at all, go figure. Oh well, we've made it on tight before, we can do it again.

I'm looking at doing Angel Food Ministries for December. For $30, the box of food seems to be a good value. If we like it, I may get more the next time around. It would certainly help stretch our food budget and with the freezer downstairs, it won't go to waste.

I'll be contacting my case worker on Monday to let her know that we won't be receiving the child support. I also have to call the Friend of the Court to see if they actually garnish child support from unemployment. I have therapy on Monday evening too. I missed last week in favor of sleeping. Go figure.

I need to get the dining room cleaned up by Tuesday evening. I want to set the tree up then. Well, put it together and string the lights. Wednesday, I'll be driving to Muskegon to pick up Katy and Emily and then doing my last minute dinner shopping.

Emily is Katy's younger 1/2 sister. They share the same dad. She is Jenn's daughter. Chris cancelled on them for Thanksgiving, so I offered for Emily to come here if Jenn didn't have plans with her family. So Emily is staying from Wednesday to Saturday when I bring them both back up north.

Emily is related to us in a weird kind of way. It's almost like she is a cousin to the kids. But not at the same time. With Chris off living his own life, barely acknowledging his children, I feel like someone should be there to be Emily's 2nd family. Everyone has one, or at least they should. So Emily will be coming down with Katy for visits and that kind of thing. What's one more kid after all, right?

Prayers and blessings everyone, I hope that your weekend is filled with fun and family and all that makes you smile and feel warm and fuzzy inside.