My intention has been to get back to blogging for quite some time. I enjoy blogging. I've come up with one reason or another as to why I don't. I don't have the time or I don't want to put up a post without pictures or any number of reasons.
I think that I need a place to put out what I want, to say what I need to, to share what is going on around here.
We live a complicated and interesting life. Homeschooling 4 of the 5 kids. 3 kids have special needs, all on the Autism spectrum in some varying degree. 3 year old twins that I'm pretty sure are already smarter than I am. Trying to make an honest go of this whole small business thing.
I often wonder if I'm really made for doing all of this. Whether I'm a good enough parent. Whether I truly have the talent to be sewing for a living. Whether I truly have anything to offer with the sword fighting rennie group we are in. I wonder if I can actually teach these kids enough to go to college and succeed as adults.
I admit that there are days when I look around me and wonder what the hell am I doing? Why don't I just send the kids off to a regular school, pop the twins into daycare and go find a job. Then I realize that I'd be working to pay for daycare. I remember that my kids didn't excel in a regular school, that they were either singled out or just passed over.
Motivation is lacking for me many days of the week, many hours of the day even. I am trying a new mantra in this new year - get off your duff. I figure if I can at least do that very first step the rest of it will come along, eventually. Ever hear that phrase fake it til you make it? That's what I'm going for here. I may not want to do it, but I'll do it anyway. It's a life skill I'm trying to teach the kids, I should be able to do it just like I expect them to. Seems like the right thing to do after all.
Well I'm off to do something. Everyone have a great Thursday. Call it get off your duff Thursday if you need to.