Jason's Halloween Dream

I'm still laughing so hard from this, so I had to share.

Let me set up the scenario. Jason is home from work. I'm laying on our bed, trying SO hard to read (currently reading "Julie and Julia") and relax. Jason is trying to organize dishes so he can wash them. However, he keeps coming in to the room and talking to me. Our bedroom is directly off of the kitchen. It's an old house and the way the rooms are set up really doesn't make much sense in a "modern" way of thinking.

Keep in mind, I love that we can talk, especially after all the kids are in bed. We haven't had much time lately to do that. I have a headache from Izzy dumping out a 1/3 of a bottle of rubbing alcohol on the carpet. The only way to clean that stuff up is to just let it evaporate. The kids have been rather "trying" today. I'm tired and sleep deprived. My sleep schedule is still really screwed up because even though the babies are now sleeping in 8 hour blocks at night, I'm still stuck on the awake all night thing.

So here Jason is, interupting my relaxing reading. I've read the same line, not even the same paragraph, the same line 4 times. Jason walks in again and says "Did I tell you about my zombie dream?" This is an unusual statement for a couple of reasons. Aside from the obvious one of it being a dream about zombies, it's a dream that Jason actually remembers. He knows he must dream, because everyone does, but he very rarely remembers what he dreamt.

"I'm afraid to ask, but no, you didn't. Zombies, really?"

"Yeah, zombies. In the dream, it was the night before Halloween and I was watching President Obama on the news. It was a big splay up on Yahoo. He was telling everyone to stay home and lock the doors and board up windows and do all that usual zombie preparedness stuff."

I interupt him and say "Why do they always tell you to stay home and lock the house down? The zombies always break in to the houses."

"Yeah, I know. Anyway, THEN some Wal-Mart guy comes on and says that they are so dedicated to their customers that they are going to stay open! So I have to go in to work"

"That doesn't surprise me ONE bit."

"Nope, me neither. I go in and by some miracle, Wal-Mart as secured a shipment of brains because that is what the zombies keep saying they are after. Now these aren't fresh brains, but brains in a can, like a spam can. It has a picture of a brain on it and says "BRAINS" across the side. And they are all expired. So I'm helping unload this truck at work full of brains."

"Wal-Mart got brains?"

"Yeah. So we set up this huge display of brains. And here come the zombies. They are all saying "Brrraaaaiiinssss" and just keep coming". While Jason is telling me about what the zombies are saying, he's walking in a little circle showing me how the zombies are stiffly walking in to Wal-Mart. "One zombie has a gimp leg and gets on the Amigo and uses that while driving it around saying "Brrraaaiiinnssss". He smashes in to a display and things go falling everywhere!"

"He gets on the cart?"

"Yep. One zombie comes up to me and grabs me by the shirt and breathes right in my face "BRRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNSSSSS" and I say "Oh yes sir, we have those right over here" and I start walking over to the big display of the brains with the zombie following right behind."

"Huh"

"So then the zombies are trying to use the self check out, and THAT didn't go well AT ALL. They just couldn't get it to work right."

"Um, so not only did Wal-Mart get a magic shipment of brains, and the zombies behaved in the store, but the zombies were trying to PAY for their brains?" I'm laughing pretty hard at this point, absolutely boggled by the thoughts churning through my husband's head.

"Yeah, but that's not the weirdest part. So after all of that, the zombies write a letter to Wal-Mart, complete with pictures, thanking Wal-Mart for serving them so well."

Uh, yeah. By the end, I'm laughing so hard, I just got right out of bed, leaving my book, and wrote this all down before I forgot it.

Prayers and blessings everyone, I hope that you all can find something as amusing in your day as I did.