Good News

He agreed. He called me a few days ago and said that he'll do it. I don't know what changed his mind, but he said he'll do it.

James has joined facebook. When I signed him up, I used my name. A couple of reasons. I want him to get used to seeing it and spelling it. If he were to become friends with some of my friends, as I figured he might so he could have more neighbors in his games, they would know he was my kid.

My ex friended him. He made a completely seperate profile just for the friendship. I'm not sure why on that one. I got some 1/2 ass answer about how he wanted to protect his privacy and he didn't want me seeing what was going on on his page. Um, OK.

Jayda has never really known him. He and I seperated when I was 6 months pregnant with her. Jason and I have been together since she was a month and a 1/2 old. Jason IS her dad.

Jason and I have decided that once we receive the refund from my ex's income tax, we'll file the paperwork with that money. It's not budgeted or anticipated for anything else, so it's perfect. He owes quite a bit in arrears so his income tax return has a lien on it to pay that down. That money comes to me. When the adoption is finalized I'll be requesting that the reamaining amount of arrears is dismissed so he will no longer owe it.

I have always hated James' middle name. Out of my three choices, I picked the most "normal" one, but it still isn't one I would have gone with under any other circumstances. As it turns out, a lot of us in the family has the same initials. I suggested to James to consider a new middle name, one that starts with the same letter as most everyone else's. He said that would be fine and we started looking through baby names. One of the first ones that was suggested is what he liked and it fits him well so we are going with that.

For Jayda, we are changing her name from Jayden to Jayda. Honestly, I didn't want to name her Jayden to begin with. That was a conflict with my mother. When she was about a year old I realized that I had heard the name Jayden quite a bit, but always in reference to a boy. Wait, every once in a rare rare while Jayden would be a girl. There were even boys with the y in the name. Having grown up with a "boy" name, I didn't want to do that to my daughters. Jayda has also not liked that her name was a "boy" name. We tried calling her Jayd. That didn't go well. She didn't like it. So I suggested Jayda. I don't want to change her name too much from what it is now. She was OK with it. I told her that I could show her a Jada in real life. I found pics of Jada Pinkett-Smith. When Jayda realized that Jada was a girl, she was married to Will Smith (who she ADORES) and that their son is Jaden, she was completly on board. Now it's a matter of training all of us with the new name. We are doing it now before the adoption so that once it takes place it's old hat. I've talked with her therapist and tutor about it and they are going to use Jayda as well. I need to call her OT and talk to them. OT was cancelled this week for a seminar the OT's went to.

Anyway, we are very happy with the news that things are moving in a good direction around here. Hopefully by the end of this year, or the beginning of next at the latest the paperwork will finalized.

Prayers and blessings everyone, I hope you have a good weekend and get some good news yourselves.

How do you...

How do you convince a man that it's only a name? If a rose were called a thorn flower, it'd still BE a rose, right? This is the dilema (as a quick side note, according to Blogger's spell check, dilema is spelled *dilemma* Huh.) I'm coming across with Homer and James.

Homer has agreed to Jason adopting the kids, on ONE condition, that James keep his last name. HUH??? He doesn't want to pay child support, as it is he only pays 1/2 of what he's ordered to. I get the impression he feels he's paying for James. Homer has never wanted to claim Jayden as his. I don't know if he's pissed he has to pay support for her, but I do know he doesn't like it.

As far as Jason is concerned, James and Jayden are HIS kids. He's raised them for the last 8 1/2 years. He has done so with little input from Homer, aside from Homer's begrudgingly and unpredictably paid child support. It isn't unusual for the kids to go 2 or more years without seeing him and months without talking to him on the phone.

James has anxiety about his family relations as it is, I can only begin to imagine what it would be like for him to have everyone else in the family to have a different name. I think it would make him feel like he weren't as much a part of our family as everyone else.

Explaining that to Homer doesn't work. He doesn't care about that, he doesn't want to hear about that (or anything else that is ACTUALLY going on with James in any way that makes "his boy" seem less than "perfect" *snort*). All he cares is that James is "his boy" and "his namesake" (not keeping in mind that Homer's father has another son with the same last name) and that James should keep the name because that's what Homer wants.

I admit that I wish Homer would just stop paying support and disappear off the face of the Earth for at least 18 months straight. Then I could get the adoption done because of "abandonment". But he pays support 1/2 ass each month and calls every so often. Damn.

So how do I convince a man that is so self focused that what is best for his child isn't what he wants?

Prayers and blessings everyone. I hope your week is filled with less perplexing things than what I'm trying to figure out.