I know I normally do Thankful Thursday, and I'll do it later today, however I want to post on something else at the moment.
My therapist asked me last time I was there if I was happy. Well, no, I guess I wouldn't consider myself "happy" per se. Content, definately, but I'm not sure about happy. I asked, what IS happy anyway? Why is it so bad to be content?
Being content doesn't mean that I don't feel joy or love or moments of laughter and elation. Content also doesn't mean I spend my entire time feeling down and out and trod upon. Some people are always overly cheerful no matter what. Some people are always angry and upset and feeling out of sorts. Me, I'm neither of those.
Can someone define "happy" for me? Does it mean you have no worries? Well, doesn't that seem kind of silly to you? Having NO worries, especially in this economy and with wars and all of that stuff going on? Does it mean ALWAYS having a smile plastered on your face and being super positive about everything? Don't those people just ANNOY you sometimes? As far as I can tell, those are the definitions of happy I've gotten so far.
I'm an optimist. When life takes a crap on me, I firmly believe that "It WILL get better" and "It could ALWAYS be worse" . Does that mean I'm happy? I do have worries. I worry about money and making ends meet, as I think anyone with 1/2 a brain does. I worry about my kids, in varying degrees between them all, which I also think everyone does. I worry about being a good parent and spouse, again as others do I think. So how am I so different from everyone else that I need to be "happy"? Why is it so wrong to classify my feelings as content?
Sure I go through bouts of depression. I recognize them, I fight against them and I come out of them doing all right. I go to therapy. More to help me fix what I recognize needs work because I just don't know where to begin then because I feel sad and beat up by the world.
Jason isn't happy. He's a pessimist. Trust me when I say, content is GOOD for him. He loves his family. He also lets the weight of the world, the weight of his own worries and insecurities weigh him down. This isn't so bad. After all, he made a good move in marrying an optimist. I'm always there with a distracting kiss and a reminder that "it WILL be all right" and he KNOWS that when I say that, it is true. Jason doesn't fight to be happy. He is good with where he is at. I know he'd love to have less worry, however that's just the nature of life some times.
So tell me this, oh readers, what IS happy?