I'm all about equal treatment. The rules should be the same across the board. If Bob can't go fishing, then neither can Sue or Joe. It's that simple to me.
This morning, Jason smacked James. For what you may ask? He left his bowl of cereal on the table while he was going to take care of the milk, which he has been yelled at (by me) before for leaving out. Jason smacked James because he should have "known better" to not leave a bowl that would make a huge mess, like a bowl with cereal and milk in it, out where "Izzy can reach it". I smacked Jason in the back of the head. Then I yelled at HIM.
Izzy is the one who should have gotten smacked, if anyone really deserved it. Izzy is 2 now. He's no longer a baby. Jason said "James should know better". I said "Izzy needs to learn better, you don't get to smack James just because you don't care for him and then allow Izzy to do as he pleases. Discipline goes for everyone in this house, not just everyone except "The Chosen One.""
You don't get to pick and choose your children. It just doesn't work that way. There are many men out there who decided they don't want to be dads for whatever reason. However, when you make a commitment to be there, and you follow through and ARE there, then you need to accept ALL of the children for who they are.
Izzy is Jason's baby. He is Jason's only child, however he is also very much Jason's baby. Jason hates hates hates to see Izzy growing and changing. He laments Izzy not being small (not that Izzy was ever super small to begin with) and cuddly and not mischevious, naughty, nor demanding. He hates that Izzy is beginning to really explore his world and really test his boundries. He's 2 after all.
Jason really does not like James. I understand his sentiment. There are many times where James drives me bonkers, and many other times where I just don't like him much. However, for Jason, I am convinced that it is an all the time thing. Yes, James is the son of another man. Yes, James has serious issues that we, as his full time parents, must contend with on a daily basis. However, it was Jason's choice to be here, to remain involved with me and my children. He tells me he couldn't leave, but that also means he can't leave my children. He can't play favorites to "his" son over "mine". That is something that I will not allow.
Jason's doing laundry right now, and I'm here typing this out. He may not be happy that I shared this with all of the internet world, but at this current moment, I really don't care. I need to let the anger and frustration out in a way that makes sense, in a way that isn't just screaming.
I love Jason dearly. I'm sure there are many things about me that he wishes I wouldn't do, that I would change, or that he could change about me. This, what happened today, has always been something about Jason that I don't like. Most days it is fine. Then there are days like today.
I really want Jason to find some kind of outlet. Maybe I should sign us up for therapy? It's really aggravating to me. When he gets upset and frustrated, he takes it out on the kids. Yes, I know, everyone does that. Lately, it seems like it is a lot more frequent. I know it doesn't help that Izzy has taken to screeching in a high pitched make your nerves crawl way when he doesn't get what he wants or can't get us to understand what it is he does want. And I also understand that James is a rather annoying pain in the ass. And Jayden is a whiny drama queen. I get all of that.
They are not the cause of his frustration. I can pretty much guarentee that. If it's me, he should talk to me, hell yell at me if he needs to. He's frustrated about money. About how he doesn't make enough. I can't make the job market better. I can't magically have the "perfect job" instantly appear for him. Hell, I don't even know what the "perfect job" for him is. He's thought about going to get his teaching certificate. What he keeps being told by colleges is that he needs to get his Masters in education.
He never wanted to go back to school once he finished. He didn't go to get a degree he could use in the future, he went to please his parents. He didn't think about his long term financial stability, he also planned to NEVER have a family, have a wife and kids. Now he is being told, that in order to pursue something that he may very well enjoy, and would have a bit of financial security attached to it, he has to go back.
And in the mean time, he needs to find another job. His current job is great, he likes it well enough. At least he has a job, and that is awesome in today's financial market. However, he's making pretty much as much as he ever will. He'll keep getting a raise every year at his review, however it'll be 25 cents at most. I get more than that on my annual raises. On Sundays, I make more than Jason does because we get $1 premium for working Sunday. While Jason says that it doesn't bother him, he's lieing. The only full time cashier positions at Wal-Mart are over night. I have let it be known that if an overnight cashier position does open up, I'd like it. Jason has already stated that if I were to do that, he'd quit his job, and maybe get a part time job, or go back to school.
The problem with all of that is this, it's what if's. It's not what is happening right now. Right now, our income makes the ends meet on a good month. On a not so good month we are screwed 6 ways from Sunday. While we can try to change the situation, increase the income flow in some way, it's really not working. My EBay auctions just are not selling. I think once school is closer to starting, if I were list some of Katy's old things, they would sell. I also have a box of baby things that would sell well I think.
Everything happens for a reason. I've always believed that. You may not recognize the reason until 10 minutes or 10 months or 10 years later, but eventually it will be made clear to you. With the miscarriage that took place this past November/December, I now understand the reason. We literally can't afford another person to clothe and feed right now. While we would get it figured out, it's a relief (in a way) that we don't have to. There isn't the worry about me taking time off of work to have the baby, or if I would have even kept my job while I was pregnant.
I know that my posts tend to ramble from one thing to another. And they are long. But I get it all out and work it all out and I can go from there. Thanks for sticking with the post til the end.
Showing posts with label financial. Show all posts
Showing posts with label financial. Show all posts
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
It's All Beginning to Sink In Now.
Jason and I talked. I should start a whole little blog called "Jason and I talked". I digress. There was an incident yesterday while James was at program. It was pretty bad. For some reason this led to Jason and I discussing the upcoming school year. Oh wait, I know what led to that. James. And His Big Mouth. James has this brain malfunction where he opens his mouth and just says what he thinks. OK, a lot of people have that. However, this is more extensive. He doesn't know when he's pissed someone off and just keeps spouting off the stupidity. That led to James angering some pretty BAD kids and he got himself beat up. Thankfully he wasn't physcially hurt. His glasses got a little bent.
James had quite a few issues last year with school. Almost all of it was behavior related. He was suspended for a full 12 days. That isn't counting the number of times I had to go pick him up early from school. That happened about once every 2 weeks or so. Or the times I would get phone calls from the staff asking me to talk to James and MAKE him do as he needed to. Those happened, on average, at least twice a week. And if ONE phone call was made in the day, it was usually at least 3.
This next year, I don't want to deal with this. This utter stupidity of the school system and their absolute inability to handle James. I don't want the headaches, anger, and frustration from dealing with their close minded every kid fits the same form and if they don't they shouldn't be here crap. James had two teachers. His mainstream classroom teacher and his resource room teacher. Most often, he handled himself well in the mainstream classroom. There were times when I would get calls from his resource room teacher. Though not nearly as often as from the "behavior staff".
The "behavior staff" and I butted heads more times than I can count. On the Wed. before Thanksgiving, they wanted to suspend him for leaving class. He was leaving class because he was trying avert having a melt down because he was angry and frustrated. I told them No I'm not picking him up and No you are not suspending him. The man on the other end couldn't believe I had said no. And then he hung up on me. By the way, Don't EVER Hang Up On ME. Especially when I am discussing my child. So I called his teacher. THEN I called the principal. James wasn't suspended.
The woman on the "behavior staff" would call me to tell me to come get James. And should go on about what he did and how it was bad and how it made her angry and blah blah blah. Um, you are supposed to be trained as someone who handles children with behavior difficulties and you are bothered by a little 9 year old kid telling you off? Jeez lady, grow some balls. James has this phrase he uses for all adults, people in charge. "You People". Now this "professional" lady thought he was using a racial slur. She asked me if he knew what it meant. I laughed. I informed her it was anyone in charge. That, no, he doesn't care if you are black, white, or purple, if you are telling him what to do, and you are anyone but me or Jason, but mostly me, he won't do it most often. That's just James. That's his disorder. You can't medicate that out of him.
So in light of all these issues, I am going to homeschool James. Behavior Plans aren't working for him. The Resource Room isn't working for him. What works best for him is to have him as isolated as possible. To not have to interact with the other kids unless he wants to. Well Hell, I can do that here at home.
There also has been the concern over Jayden. Her teachers just can't get her to DO her work. To work in a way so she is learning. She is easily distracted by everything around her. Also, if she doesn't want to do it, much like her brother, she won't. She pulls a different card than him. It's not a behavior issue. It's simply "I can't". Apparently, the teachers take that as it is. I have been told the entire year this past year about everything Jayden just can't seem to do. Here's the kicker here folks. YES, SHE CAN. I've put her to the test. Everything they told me she can't do, yes she can. I look at her and say "I don't want to hear you can't. You have to do this. You don't have a choice." Screw explaining the why of it right now. She's 6, she doesn't even COMPREHEND the why of it really, she just sees that mom told her to do it, so she's doing it. So Jayden is going to be homeschooled as well.
Oh, have I mentioned I'm not an organized person at all? Thankfully, I have the Four or More Mommies. Many of them are homeschoolers and they are an amazing resource. They have all kinds of info for me to take and use as need be. One of the great things about homeschooling is I can work at the pace of the kids. We don't need to spend all day doing their work, unless that is how long it takes them to complete their assignment. I can do direct rewards if need be. They are also much more likely to do the work because it is ME telling them to do it and they have been trained since birth to do as Mom and Dad direct.
So in the next couple of months I will be working on organizing our homeschool "stuff". Figuring out lesson plans and gathering teaching aids and materials. I'll be using my printer and going through lots of ink. Picking up school supplies on the cheap when they go on sale. And hoping and praying I don't lose my mind. And that I can get through to them, that I CAN teach them and they WILL learn. That's the most intimdating part of all right now.
Homeschooling does open us up a little. We were staying here in Kalamazoo because of The Promise. However, homeschoolers don't qualify. The kids will go to a 2 year college, then transfer to a 4 year if that's what they want. So Jason will be able to expand his job search area. He wants to be making more money. About $10K more a year would really give us a cushion that we need. It's still a rather low income, but hey, we already live frugally. That small amount will allow us to make sure that we live within our means, and not be so reliant on outside factors, like child support. Will we be staying Kalamazoo? I don't know. As of right now, yes. However if Jason finds a job in Holland or Battle Creek or St. Joe or....well, you get the idea, we'll move. It's what is best for the family, so we'll do it.
It would be sad to leave this house. Leave my gardens. The hard work I put in to the girls' room. However, a long commute for Jason is not an option. We tried that once. After a year, it wore us out. Both him and I. We want to stay on this side of the state. Within about an hour of where we are now. That will keep us still close to his family south of us, and all of my family to the north of us. Jason wants to be able to start taking monthly, or even bi-weekly trips to see his folks. They are getting up there in age, at both of them being over 70 now. We can't afford that right now. We can barely afford our trips to pick up Katy Beth. So his job search continues. And I start homeschooling.
Life is always full of change. I think the kind of people we are is determined by how we handle that change.
James had quite a few issues last year with school. Almost all of it was behavior related. He was suspended for a full 12 days. That isn't counting the number of times I had to go pick him up early from school. That happened about once every 2 weeks or so. Or the times I would get phone calls from the staff asking me to talk to James and MAKE him do as he needed to. Those happened, on average, at least twice a week. And if ONE phone call was made in the day, it was usually at least 3.
This next year, I don't want to deal with this. This utter stupidity of the school system and their absolute inability to handle James. I don't want the headaches, anger, and frustration from dealing with their close minded every kid fits the same form and if they don't they shouldn't be here crap. James had two teachers. His mainstream classroom teacher and his resource room teacher. Most often, he handled himself well in the mainstream classroom. There were times when I would get calls from his resource room teacher. Though not nearly as often as from the "behavior staff".
The "behavior staff" and I butted heads more times than I can count. On the Wed. before Thanksgiving, they wanted to suspend him for leaving class. He was leaving class because he was trying avert having a melt down because he was angry and frustrated. I told them No I'm not picking him up and No you are not suspending him. The man on the other end couldn't believe I had said no. And then he hung up on me. By the way, Don't EVER Hang Up On ME. Especially when I am discussing my child. So I called his teacher. THEN I called the principal. James wasn't suspended.
The woman on the "behavior staff" would call me to tell me to come get James. And should go on about what he did and how it was bad and how it made her angry and blah blah blah. Um, you are supposed to be trained as someone who handles children with behavior difficulties and you are bothered by a little 9 year old kid telling you off? Jeez lady, grow some balls. James has this phrase he uses for all adults, people in charge. "You People". Now this "professional" lady thought he was using a racial slur. She asked me if he knew what it meant. I laughed. I informed her it was anyone in charge. That, no, he doesn't care if you are black, white, or purple, if you are telling him what to do, and you are anyone but me or Jason, but mostly me, he won't do it most often. That's just James. That's his disorder. You can't medicate that out of him.
So in light of all these issues, I am going to homeschool James. Behavior Plans aren't working for him. The Resource Room isn't working for him. What works best for him is to have him as isolated as possible. To not have to interact with the other kids unless he wants to. Well Hell, I can do that here at home.
There also has been the concern over Jayden. Her teachers just can't get her to DO her work. To work in a way so she is learning. She is easily distracted by everything around her. Also, if she doesn't want to do it, much like her brother, she won't. She pulls a different card than him. It's not a behavior issue. It's simply "I can't". Apparently, the teachers take that as it is. I have been told the entire year this past year about everything Jayden just can't seem to do. Here's the kicker here folks. YES, SHE CAN. I've put her to the test. Everything they told me she can't do, yes she can. I look at her and say "I don't want to hear you can't. You have to do this. You don't have a choice." Screw explaining the why of it right now. She's 6, she doesn't even COMPREHEND the why of it really, she just sees that mom told her to do it, so she's doing it. So Jayden is going to be homeschooled as well.
Oh, have I mentioned I'm not an organized person at all? Thankfully, I have the Four or More Mommies. Many of them are homeschoolers and they are an amazing resource. They have all kinds of info for me to take and use as need be. One of the great things about homeschooling is I can work at the pace of the kids. We don't need to spend all day doing their work, unless that is how long it takes them to complete their assignment. I can do direct rewards if need be. They are also much more likely to do the work because it is ME telling them to do it and they have been trained since birth to do as Mom and Dad direct.
So in the next couple of months I will be working on organizing our homeschool "stuff". Figuring out lesson plans and gathering teaching aids and materials. I'll be using my printer and going through lots of ink. Picking up school supplies on the cheap when they go on sale. And hoping and praying I don't lose my mind. And that I can get through to them, that I CAN teach them and they WILL learn. That's the most intimdating part of all right now.
Homeschooling does open us up a little. We were staying here in Kalamazoo because of The Promise. However, homeschoolers don't qualify. The kids will go to a 2 year college, then transfer to a 4 year if that's what they want. So Jason will be able to expand his job search area. He wants to be making more money. About $10K more a year would really give us a cushion that we need. It's still a rather low income, but hey, we already live frugally. That small amount will allow us to make sure that we live within our means, and not be so reliant on outside factors, like child support. Will we be staying Kalamazoo? I don't know. As of right now, yes. However if Jason finds a job in Holland or Battle Creek or St. Joe or....well, you get the idea, we'll move. It's what is best for the family, so we'll do it.
It would be sad to leave this house. Leave my gardens. The hard work I put in to the girls' room. However, a long commute for Jason is not an option. We tried that once. After a year, it wore us out. Both him and I. We want to stay on this side of the state. Within about an hour of where we are now. That will keep us still close to his family south of us, and all of my family to the north of us. Jason wants to be able to start taking monthly, or even bi-weekly trips to see his folks. They are getting up there in age, at both of them being over 70 now. We can't afford that right now. We can barely afford our trips to pick up Katy Beth. So his job search continues. And I start homeschooling.
Life is always full of change. I think the kind of people we are is determined by how we handle that change.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Today I do Some Shopping.
How I wish it could be unadulterated unlimited shopping. Nope. I have $95. With that I must make sure I pick up Jason's cigs, $10, water, $5, Jason's apples, $5, Jason's Breakfast Sandwiches, $10. There goes $30 right there. Thankfully I've got a full tank of gas. And plenty of energy drink to last well in to next week. Jason needs cigs later this week, however I want to have the money set aside for that. I am going to go clearence shopping at Wal-Mart. The one where I slipped and fell.
All of the kids have grown out of their clothes basically. So clearence shopping I will go. I want to go to the 2nd Hand Shops too, however I want to wait until a little closer to the school year. As it is, I don't think they will carry clothes that will fit Katy.
That child is like a little Amazon. She's 10 1/2, and is 5 foot 2 inches. Holy Toledo Batman! I'm 5'6" on a day when they are nice to me. She wears a girls 16 and a juniors size 1. There is a problem with your 10, almost 11 year old, wearing juniors sized clothing. Most of it is geared toward high school and college girls. And some of it is quite hoochy.
I don't understand the absolute need to show as much skin as possible? What are they offering to all those hormone rampaging boys? I understand that the girls in college are adults and can do "as they please". However, do they really need to look trampy while doing it?
Yesterday, while at work. I was working at the U-Scan. A young lady came through with a cart of stuff. She was college age. Her skirt was so short that when she bent over the cart to reach in, I swore I was going to see her ass. Literally. And she was wearing a thong. How can I tell? All women can tell. We look at panties, just not in the same context as guys do. Needless to say, I saw the VERY top of her thighs. Admittedly it was over 80 yesterday with a rather high humidity. However, does the skirt really have to be THAT short? And if it is, why couldn't it be a skort?
I found some cute stuff on the clearence racks a couple of days ago, however I didn't have money for clothes then. I had money for groceries, so that is what I bought. Groceries. Today I have a little money for clothes for the Children Who Won't Stop Growing. Izzy is now in a 3T/4T shirt and 2T pants. The boy is 2. However, he's another Amazon. Oh wait, I think the term "Amazon" is reserved for girls. I digress. He is 3 feet tall and weighs in at 30 pounds. Chunk of funk he is not. He's a skinny solid dude.
Speaking of Izzy, he is speaking more now. He's picking up signs. He's vocalizing and trying to imitate words and mannerisms. Jason taught Izzy hair and ear. I taught him nose. James taught him to give a raspberry like he was farting and say "What's That?" and to spank his own butt saying "Can't Catch Me". The What's That comes out sounding like "WhaTha?" and the Can't Catch Me is more like "CahMeh" but at least he's trying. We are really working on Please and Thank You, both word and sign. His speach is still so garbled that signs really help us figure out what he is saying.
James is James. Not much more to be said on that. He recently got glasses so I'm constantly reminding him to "Put On Your Glasses". Jayden is still as girly as ever. Katy is smart and charasmatic. She's going to a summer program where she will hang out with her friends and be at the middle school. It'll help her get a little used to the building and the teachers and stuff. Crap, I'm the parent of a middle schooler. I just hope that James makes it to middle school. If he has another year like last year, I'll be home schooling the boy. Cause it's either that or send him to a "special" school. I don't want him around other trouble causing kids all day. He'll learn even more bad habits. Maybe I can "threaten" him with home schooling to get him to behave?
All of the kids have grown out of their clothes basically. So clearence shopping I will go. I want to go to the 2nd Hand Shops too, however I want to wait until a little closer to the school year. As it is, I don't think they will carry clothes that will fit Katy.
That child is like a little Amazon. She's 10 1/2, and is 5 foot 2 inches. Holy Toledo Batman! I'm 5'6" on a day when they are nice to me. She wears a girls 16 and a juniors size 1. There is a problem with your 10, almost 11 year old, wearing juniors sized clothing. Most of it is geared toward high school and college girls. And some of it is quite hoochy.
I don't understand the absolute need to show as much skin as possible? What are they offering to all those hormone rampaging boys? I understand that the girls in college are adults and can do "as they please". However, do they really need to look trampy while doing it?
Yesterday, while at work. I was working at the U-Scan. A young lady came through with a cart of stuff. She was college age. Her skirt was so short that when she bent over the cart to reach in, I swore I was going to see her ass. Literally. And she was wearing a thong. How can I tell? All women can tell. We look at panties, just not in the same context as guys do. Needless to say, I saw the VERY top of her thighs. Admittedly it was over 80 yesterday with a rather high humidity. However, does the skirt really have to be THAT short? And if it is, why couldn't it be a skort?
I found some cute stuff on the clearence racks a couple of days ago, however I didn't have money for clothes then. I had money for groceries, so that is what I bought. Groceries. Today I have a little money for clothes for the Children Who Won't Stop Growing. Izzy is now in a 3T/4T shirt and 2T pants. The boy is 2. However, he's another Amazon. Oh wait, I think the term "Amazon" is reserved for girls. I digress. He is 3 feet tall and weighs in at 30 pounds. Chunk of funk he is not. He's a skinny solid dude.
Speaking of Izzy, he is speaking more now. He's picking up signs. He's vocalizing and trying to imitate words and mannerisms. Jason taught Izzy hair and ear. I taught him nose. James taught him to give a raspberry like he was farting and say "What's That?" and to spank his own butt saying "Can't Catch Me". The What's That comes out sounding like "WhaTha?" and the Can't Catch Me is more like "CahMeh" but at least he's trying. We are really working on Please and Thank You, both word and sign. His speach is still so garbled that signs really help us figure out what he is saying.
James is James. Not much more to be said on that. He recently got glasses so I'm constantly reminding him to "Put On Your Glasses". Jayden is still as girly as ever. Katy is smart and charasmatic. She's going to a summer program where she will hang out with her friends and be at the middle school. It'll help her get a little used to the building and the teachers and stuff. Crap, I'm the parent of a middle schooler. I just hope that James makes it to middle school. If he has another year like last year, I'll be home schooling the boy. Cause it's either that or send him to a "special" school. I don't want him around other trouble causing kids all day. He'll learn even more bad habits. Maybe I can "threaten" him with home schooling to get him to behave?
Monday, July 7, 2008
Budget.
It's just one word. It's how I look at it. One word. Budget. Not Our Budget. Not The Budget. Simply Budget. Or otherwise known as "how do I pay for everything we have come to expect out of life with falling dollar values and increasing fuel and food costs?" That takes up a bit too much room to do regularly though.
Ugh. So I'm sitting here, playing a game of solitaire. My mind keeps wandering, as it does when I play games like that. It keeps wandering to the budget. Ugh again. I keep trying to figure out how I can cut our food costs.
Here's the thing. I only shop for food at Wal-Mart. Have done that since I started working there, which was shortly after we moved here to this house. It's a loyalty thing. It's also the fact that I KNOW I'm saving money over going to Meijer. I've done the price comparison. It's honestly cheaper, and I'm not just saying that to support "The Company".
So our grocery cost has reduced some because of that. No more Meijer. I don't shop at Save A Lot anymore however. I'm wondering if I need to start doing that again. In all honesty, what I would get at Save A Lot were the boxed/canned goods. Some frozen foods. A little refridgerated stuff. Otherwise, I went to Meijer. Since I've been shopping at Wal-Mart all the time, Save A Lot has been cut out. We use store brand items as much as possible. That cuts out quite a bit of cost right there. We buy in bulk, so we can save 20 cents a pound on meat and use the extra freezer to stock up, though that may no longer be an option, which I'll get to in just a second.
There is also the option of NO extras. No chips. No soda. No popscicles. No breakfast sandwiches. No snacks with lunches. No cheese sticks. No higher quality lunch meat. No higher quality cuts of meat at all. No frozen pizzas or pizza rolls. No yogurt. No cereal bars. No granola bars. No marinades.
Wow, that cuts out about 1/2 of what we eat regularly. And everything else would be the cheapest of the cheap. I really don't want to live like that however. I will fight that with tooth and nail, kicking and screaming the entire way. I lived like that with Homer, with Chris, I won't go back to it. It's a miserable existence.
Jason takes the bus back and forth to work. So that cuts down on gas usage. I will only be going out of the house for errands if I ABSOLUTELY have to. Otherwise, I'll do my shopping after work. As it is, I'm not sure how we are going to finagle the kids' school/fall/winter clothes. All four of them have grown. They will all need refurbishing to their wardrobes.
I'll be going through the boxes in the storage room, looking for things that used to be Katy's that Jayden can now wear. It was about this size that I started keeping everything. I should be able to find some stuff, hopefully. Listing stuff on EBay. The kids old clothes. I need to become much more Gung Ho about that. Treating it like a part time job. One that I do late at night, after everyone has gone off to bed. I can take the pics during the day in the sunlight and then edit and post the items at night. Go and do one to two bulk mailings a week.
Jason is still looking for a different job. Right now, I'm not sure if I should be or not. The job I have pays decently. It works according to the availability I have. I don't get asked a bunch of questions when I change it a little to better suit my home life.
The freezer. Ah yes, it seems that our 2nd stock up so we have it fridge/freezer is taking a dump on us. Well Crap A Doodle Bob. There is no way Garry will replace it. It's our 2nd fridge. He was going to take it out when we moved in a year ago. I looked on Craigslist. There is a listing for one for $50 about 20 minutes from here. Jenn says she can get it in her truck so we could go pick it up that way. However, if it's gone, I'm out of luck. Jason is going to have a fit about buying a new one as it is. He wants to get rid of the 2nd one. He feels that we'd save energy by not having. I'm sure we would, but I highly doubt that unplugging one fridge will save us much more than MAYBE $20 for an entire year. Our energy costs are elsewhere.
So I do this, I sit and I worry. It makes me feel like crap. It wears me out and I just feel like I'm dragging ass all day. Trying to walk through a swamp as I'm slowly sinking. I can't even see the shore that I'm working toward, but I keep getting reassured, by the voice through the over head speaker, that it IS there and it WILL be worth it. There are many days where I want to just say "Fuck it!" and stop walking. I keep going. Cause I have to. Ugh.
Ugh. So I'm sitting here, playing a game of solitaire. My mind keeps wandering, as it does when I play games like that. It keeps wandering to the budget. Ugh again. I keep trying to figure out how I can cut our food costs.
Here's the thing. I only shop for food at Wal-Mart. Have done that since I started working there, which was shortly after we moved here to this house. It's a loyalty thing. It's also the fact that I KNOW I'm saving money over going to Meijer. I've done the price comparison. It's honestly cheaper, and I'm not just saying that to support "The Company".
So our grocery cost has reduced some because of that. No more Meijer. I don't shop at Save A Lot anymore however. I'm wondering if I need to start doing that again. In all honesty, what I would get at Save A Lot were the boxed/canned goods. Some frozen foods. A little refridgerated stuff. Otherwise, I went to Meijer. Since I've been shopping at Wal-Mart all the time, Save A Lot has been cut out. We use store brand items as much as possible. That cuts out quite a bit of cost right there. We buy in bulk, so we can save 20 cents a pound on meat and use the extra freezer to stock up, though that may no longer be an option, which I'll get to in just a second.
There is also the option of NO extras. No chips. No soda. No popscicles. No breakfast sandwiches. No snacks with lunches. No cheese sticks. No higher quality lunch meat. No higher quality cuts of meat at all. No frozen pizzas or pizza rolls. No yogurt. No cereal bars. No granola bars. No marinades.
Wow, that cuts out about 1/2 of what we eat regularly. And everything else would be the cheapest of the cheap. I really don't want to live like that however. I will fight that with tooth and nail, kicking and screaming the entire way. I lived like that with Homer, with Chris, I won't go back to it. It's a miserable existence.
Jason takes the bus back and forth to work. So that cuts down on gas usage. I will only be going out of the house for errands if I ABSOLUTELY have to. Otherwise, I'll do my shopping after work. As it is, I'm not sure how we are going to finagle the kids' school/fall/winter clothes. All four of them have grown. They will all need refurbishing to their wardrobes.
I'll be going through the boxes in the storage room, looking for things that used to be Katy's that Jayden can now wear. It was about this size that I started keeping everything. I should be able to find some stuff, hopefully. Listing stuff on EBay. The kids old clothes. I need to become much more Gung Ho about that. Treating it like a part time job. One that I do late at night, after everyone has gone off to bed. I can take the pics during the day in the sunlight and then edit and post the items at night. Go and do one to two bulk mailings a week.
Jason is still looking for a different job. Right now, I'm not sure if I should be or not. The job I have pays decently. It works according to the availability I have. I don't get asked a bunch of questions when I change it a little to better suit my home life.
The freezer. Ah yes, it seems that our 2nd stock up so we have it fridge/freezer is taking a dump on us. Well Crap A Doodle Bob. There is no way Garry will replace it. It's our 2nd fridge. He was going to take it out when we moved in a year ago. I looked on Craigslist. There is a listing for one for $50 about 20 minutes from here. Jenn says she can get it in her truck so we could go pick it up that way. However, if it's gone, I'm out of luck. Jason is going to have a fit about buying a new one as it is. He wants to get rid of the 2nd one. He feels that we'd save energy by not having. I'm sure we would, but I highly doubt that unplugging one fridge will save us much more than MAYBE $20 for an entire year. Our energy costs are elsewhere.
So I do this, I sit and I worry. It makes me feel like crap. It wears me out and I just feel like I'm dragging ass all day. Trying to walk through a swamp as I'm slowly sinking. I can't even see the shore that I'm working toward, but I keep getting reassured, by the voice through the over head speaker, that it IS there and it WILL be worth it. There are many days where I want to just say "Fuck it!" and stop walking. I keep going. Cause I have to. Ugh.
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