Wednesday, July 16, 2008

It Was A Wonderful Day UNTIL

James lost the part of his brain where his mouth plugs in to his brain and the brain THINKS before the mouth vocalizes. It was LOVELY to say the least.

Let me start with the beginning of the day. I get up. Do a little computer work. Give Izzy his regular cereal bar. James and Jayden are off getting dressed, or so I thought. I yell up to James to have him bring me down clothes for Izzy when he comes down to put on his shoes. We had places to be.

James is in bed. UGH. So I get James out of bed. He brought me a t-shirt and heavy overalls for Izzy to wear. It's going to be 90 outside, so that won't work. I ask James to bring me some shorts. He is FINALLY dressed and brings me shorts for the Izz-Man. They don't match the shirt. James starts yelling at me how Izzy doesn't have any shorts that match that match any of his shirts or anything like that. I go up and find something that matches, imagine that. Get Izzy dressed and his shoes on. Get out the door.

We go to The Root Beer Stand. You drive up. Stay in your car. The girl comes, takes your order, and then brings it to you on one of those trays that sit on your window. MMMMM, hot dogs with chili cheese, mustard and onions. Jayden likes her with just ketchup. James is a cheese and ketchup guy. Izzy gets a bag of popcorn, being a non-meat eater and all. James and Jayden had root beer, Izzy and I had fruit punch. I need to remember to not get that again, it tasted funny, the lemonade is much better.

From there we go to therapy for James. We all go back to begin with, to the play therapy room. Leave the kids in the play area while R and I go behind the mirror to watch them and talk. Then R meets with James on his own. Jayden was particularly upset to be leaving the doll house. So sorry kiddo. Once James is done, we swing back by the house. I use the potty (this is pertinent later it's why I'm sharing), I grab James' glasses, which need to be fixed and the overdue library books. And off we go again.

Get to the optometrist and the place is PACKED. It's always that busy. They are one of the few places in town to accept Medicaid. The only state assistance we get is Medicaid for the kids. Thankfully on that part. They fix James' glasses for free. YAY! Off to Wal-Mart.

I pick up some soil for my flower beds, some more herbs for my herb garden. Some perennials for the perennial garden that really disappointed this year. That's also what the soil is mostly for. Plant food, gloves for James, under shirts for James, panties for Jayden, Mt. dew, Cheese, rolls, Pringles, cottage cheese. That was our entire list. I get to the check out, and reach for my wallet and realize "OH SHIT! I forgot it!" I have the cashier, a nice young lady named Robbie, ring it all up and then have Joanna suspend the transaction. Rush out of there to come home.

On the way home, I remember I had left the house WITH my wallet cause I had paid for lunch. The entire trip home I am hoping it didn't fall out somewhere. It falls out when I use the bathroom at work. I was wearing pants similar to the ones I wear at work. It MUST be at home, on the bathroom floor. We get home, Izzy is crashed out in the back, I unlock the door so James can go in and check, and YES! it's there, phew!

By this time, Jason is home, so I leave the tired and cranky Izzy with him. James, Jayden and I head back to Wal-Mart where we procure our beloved purchases. Then on the way home, I realize I didn't buy lunch meat. We were having a no cook dinner. Subs, cottage cheese, and chips. So I stopped at Hardings and hit up the Deli there. It was a nice dinner. The cool felt so good after the hot hot day.

Jason had started filling up the kiddie pool while were gone. Jayden and Izzy played in the water. James thought it was too cold so he opted to ride his bike. Jason stayed outside with them, while I went in to enjoy the cool a/c. We have 2 window units that cool the main floor of the house. One is in our bedroom, the other is in the living room. For the most part, all the rooms get cool, aside from the office because it's at a weird angle off of the other rooms.

The kids clear the dinner table and pick up food off of the floor. Izzy likes to throw food and our kittens like to eat it off of the floor. The stupid animals are having a hard time with litter training as well. UGH, they annoy me some times! I digress. While they were doing that, I informed them that because it was getting cooler out, we were going to go upstairs so they could pick up the play room. It was trashed. Part of why it was trashed was because of me. I had told the kids to take all the toys from the cubby area where the toy boxes were and put them all in the middle of the room in the play room. There were all kinds of things in that cubby that shouldn't have been there. On previous occasions, when told to clean the playroom, they had picked things up and just tossed them there instead of actually putting them away. I wanted to remedy this situation.

This starts the downslide which shall be known as The Hour James Lost His Ever Loving Mind. We all go upstairs, well James, Jayden and I. Jason has put Izzy to bed because he is being a cranky whiny screaming pain. He napped a grand total of 15 minutes today. From the time it took us to get from Wal-Mart to Home the first time. James starts SCREAMING at me because has to clean and he just doesn't want to. That ladies and gentlement is the ENTIRE reason for what took place for the following hour. THE ENTIRE REASON. I didn't hit him, yell at him, scream at him, nor threaten him in any way, shape, or form. He didn't want to clean.

James SCREAMED at me. Not scream. Not cry. Not yell. HE SCREAMED! All caps screamed. He had that high pitched voice the bad guys on cartoons get when they get really worked up and start monologuing like crazy. He was telling me how I didn't love him, how I didn't care about him. How I should be the one to clean up the mess. How I should just throw everything out. How I torture him by making things he doesn't want to do. How I never do anything for him. How he does everything for me. How I didn't deserve to be a parent. How he wanted to be adopted. How he wanted to go live with Homer. All because I wanted him to clean up the playroom.

Now, let me explain a little about the rules in my house. I don't expect much. I have a standing rule that you can be upset at what I ask you to do. You can vocalize your frustration, anger, and upset as much as you want. As long as what I have asked you to do gets done, you can be as pissed as you want. You can scream, yell, cry, throw things (as long as they are ONLY your things), whatever, as long as what I have asked you to do is getting done.

James was screaming at me. I was sitting on the couch up there taking it all. I kept reminding him to pick stuff up. So he'd pick up a toy or two and scream and scream and scream. I'd remind him again, and it would start all over. After 45 minutes of this, I called Homer. I figured I'd let him tell James about it all. So Homer talked to him. Tried to explain that James would have even more rules there because Homer's wife runs a daycare. None of it mattered to him. All James perceived it as, in that moment, as Homer hates me, and he won't let me have what I want either.

By recommendation of MF Jenn I had James get ready for bed. By the way MF means my friend. Katy's step mom Jenn will now be KSM Jenn. This had been carrying on for a good hour. I was worn out, emotionally drained. I couldn't do any more. As it was, I had Jason go upstairs to "relieve" me for a bit. After James had brushed his teeth and gotten his meds, as he was walking by the office I said "Good night James, I love you" as I do every night. That just started him off on another screaming fit about how I was just saying it to make him feel better and yada yada yada. UGH.

I went out MF Jenn to Bennigans. We had a drink a piece and shared an appetizer and a dessert. Neither of us needs either of those things on our own. It was a nice repreive. Here's hoping tomorrow is a calmer day.


Jennbenn said...

Glad I could help if only a little. One day at a time my ftirnd...One day at a time.

Serial Mommy said...

that's all there is to do. after all, if i could jump ahead more than one day, i'd be famous and not worried about finances!

Kristine said...

There was a time when Jacob was about 4 or 5, where he would do that. It was awful, and I only stayed calm about half the time. Thank goodness he stopped. I wish I could say why. I have no idea. He would get violent, hitting, throwing, kicking scratching, etc. I can pin down a 5 yo. I don't know how well I would do with him now at 9yo!