I know this is late, even though it's dated for the day it happened. It's taken me this long to process it all.
To sum it up, the doc was an ASS. He didn't listen to a thing I was saying, he kicked Jason and the kids out. Jason had questions too. He upset me so badly that when I left, I went out to the van and just started balling.
Now, to get beyond the assness of the doc. Here's the actuality of what was said.
Odds are pretty high that I will in fact have a c-section. I was told that 1 in 4 births of twins happen vaginally. 1 in 4. Wow. The only way a midwife can deliver the twins vaginally is if BOTH babies are head down. The odds of that happening are astronomical. It pretty much just DOESN'T happen that way. So I will be delivered by a doctor, and for a vaginal birth, it will hapen in the O.R. I'm assuming that I would labor in a regular room and then be transferred to the O.R. once the babies were close to being born. I'll ask to verify when I see a midwife next.
There are 7 doctors that cover the L&D floor. Three of them are from the practice I go to, the other 4 are from other practices there in the hospital. So 4 of the docs will be COMPLETE strangers to me. If I go in to labor on my own, it is very much a ladies luck kind of draw as to WHO would deliver my babies. If the doc that is on call is "uncomfortable" delivering the babies with one presenting breech, vaginally then that doc may insist on a c-section. I asked if I could turn the c-section down. I was told that yes I could, however it wouldn't be "recommended" because "it wouldn't be good to have a doc who is uncomfortable with the situation delivering my babies". Hmmm...seems like an excuse to me. I didn't even THINK to ask where the midwives would be at this point. Once I'm in the doc's care does that mean I don't see a midwife again until after the babies are born or will the midwife do all the checking up and that kind of thing, until the moment of catch or cut comes?
Also, with being a midwife patient, because I'm pregnant with twins, I can only see three specific midwives on 2 different days during the mornings ONLY. Oh holy hell I threw a fit about that! When my husband works 3rd shift, he either has to stay awake to keep the kids, be woken up very early to care for the kids, or I have to bring them with me, and with a 3 year old that gets in to EVERYTHING, that just really isn't a viable option either! I called the phone nurse about it. The phone nurse referred me to the care coordinator. I talked to the care coordinator. She spoke to the doc in charge of the entire office. I told them that I didn't mind continuing to see a midwife, and the three that were my choice were more than fine, I've worked with all three before, as long as it wasn't that restricted of availability and I gave those exact reasons as to why. She called me back and told me that it would be fine to see those three midwives at later times in the day.
I also explained how the doc made me feel. He didn't listen to me, he disregarded everything I had to say. He didn't measure my uterus (a standard procedure to figure out if the babies are growing as they should) and he didn't even TRY to hear both heart beats because he "knew" he wouldn't be able to tell the difference, so why bother? I felt belittled and stupid. I've NEVER felt that way with using this practice. It made me hurt and made me REALLY angry.
There was one point where I was telling him how I don't have regular contractions on my own, that I've had to be induced and I always go over. He totally blew that off and told me that he "pretty much guarentees that won't happen, you will go in to labor on your own, you won't be able to carry those babies too long, in fact, if you deliver after 36 weeks, I'll be amazed". Then he went on to tell me how important it was to go to the hospital when I go in to labor on my own. I asked how I would know I was in labor. He said "Oh, you know, contractions regular for an hour, 5 min apart, your water breaks, all that". Um, did you just NOT hear me say I DON'T have regular contractions on my own you moron? The ENTIRE appointment was like that. He kept stressing pre-term labor and having the babies between 34 and 36 weeks and all of that.
I told the care coordinator that I thought the doc was a complete ass, and yes, I used that word, and that there was NO way I wanted to see him again. Yes I understood that if he was the one on call when/if I went in to labor on my own, he'd be overseeing me, however if I can avoid him otherwise, I wanted to. When she called me back, she told me that for scheduling the birth of the babies with either induction or c-section, I can PICK the doc I want to deliver me. Schedule it for a day that the doc is on the L&D floor.
I felt like I had won the lottery when she told me that! I know I didn't win much, but I felt SO victorious. I got them to open up their schedule for me AND I get to pick the doc who delivers my babies, AND I don't have to see the ass again! I do have to see a doc every 3rd visit, but I can schedule with one of the other 2 docs in the practice.
I am hoping and praying that these babies cooperate (I never thought that needing to be kicked out would be considered cooperating before!) and need to be kicked out in order to be born. Ideally, they both will be head down, but I'm not holding my breath on that one. I've accepted the odds of the c-section are high and it most likely will happen that way. I am going to ask the other 2 docs for their feelings on allowing me to attempt a vaginal delivery with the 2nd baby to be born presenting breech. Then I'll know who to choose to deliver me. I know that if the 1st baby to be born is breech, a c-section is guarenteed.
My next appointment is for March 25. I have an ultra sound where we will hopefully find out WHO these babies are and then an appointment with a midwife. They sent me back for the 2nd blood draw for the genetic testing. I was told originally that wouldn't happen if they found markers in the first one for genetic disorders, so everything is looking good that way.
I have decided that as far as the shower thing goes I'm going to do this. I'm not going to register. Jason and I are planning on how and when we will get the dupilicate bigger items that we want/need. This week we are picking up the 2nd infant carseat. I found the pattern I like at BabyDepot and I have a coupon for 10% off. I am going to ask for clothes and diapers in all sizes. We have NOTHING for tiny babies, newborn size. Izzy was a moose of a boy, and wore the 0-3 months size for about a month and then went up to the 3-6 month size. We have some onesies, jammies, and a few outfits I kept from him and Jayden in 3-6 month size. I've started picking up diapers, but I know we could always use more. We are particular about the diapers we use because they DON'T leak, they have stretchy sides, AND they donate vaccines to UNICEF for children in Africa.
We have names chosen for any combo of babies we are getting, except for a 2nd male middle name. We won't be telling anyone those names until we know who the babies are, and they will be introduced by name with the corresponding ultra sound pics.
Prayers and blessings everyone. I hope you are having a wonderful time just living day to day.