That is the question bogging down my brain on this crisp and mostly clear February afternoon. No, I don't mean the go get clean kind of shower. I mean the Yay, you're getting married/having a baby! kind of shower.
So the question that plagues me at the moment is do I plan on a shower or don't I? I'm not comfortable just asking for one, unlike my younger sister. I think it can cause resentment, something I'd know a lot about at this moment in time, and it really is unmannerly to say the least. Then there is the factor of I really don't NEED a shower.
To me, a shower is something you give to a mom who is either having her first baby, her first baby of a different sex, or the first baby in quite a few years since the last baby. I just had a baby almost 3 years ago. We kept quite a bit of his things. I will admit that we did sell some things, however those are things we can replace as we go along.
Jason tells me that with having twins, odds are increased that we will in fact have a shower. I see this as kind of silly. However, I know my family, and Jason's family, well enough that if they get it in to their heads to do this, nothing I say will stop them. Trust me, I know this first hand. I tried to stop them from doing it with Izzy. I was unsuccessful, very very unsuccessful.
With the economy the way it is, it almost seems greedy to have a shower just because we have a surprise extra baby. Everyone is feeling the market crunch and all the worry about jobs and how much things cost. Why should it be ok to ask others to help initially provide for the extra baby, and just because there is an extra?
I understand that showers are supposed to be a celebration. A celebration of the new marriage and life that you are building. A celebration of the new baby that is coming. To me, I see them as greedy. Another way to get more gifts and become the center of attention. By the way, I HATE being the center of attention. I'd rather sit on a bed of nails than have everyone looking at me and commenting on how I look and asking all kinds of personal questions about my body and babies. I am also socially awkward and have a fear of coming across as VERY VERY stupid and I have learned it's better to just sit and watch so I don't accidently say or do something embaressing. Being a huge klutz doesn't help.
I wasn't planning on registering for gifts for this baby. I figured if people did want to buy gifts, they could figure something out on their own, or ask what we needed. I was planning on taking a chunk of our income tax return and buying clothes for ALL of the kids, including the babies. At the same time, getting some basic items that I want for them for when they are first born, wraps (which I already purchased), diapers (I pick up diapers for the babies when I buy diapers for Izzy), and bouncy seat. Since finding out we are having twins I added a 2nd infant seat, and possibly another moses basket or a bassinet to the list. I'm not sure about the bassinet/moses basket yet because I'm not sure how I'm going to have the babies sleep when they first come home.
Now, with the surprise baby, I wonder if I SHOULD register and hold off on some of my purchases? That seems a little presumptuous however. Why hold off with the assumption that a shower WILL take place? I'm at a loss here. Does everyone register when they become pregnant or do they wait until they are told they should do so? Am I taking away from the fun of others because I really don't want to "play along"? Can anyone help me out here, give me a little guidance?
Prayers and blessings all. I hope your week is carefree and not so full of mindless worries like mine is.