Thursday, June 19, 2008

Apparently, I'm going to church.

Yes, you all read that correctly. Because of the financial fiasco I have brought us to, we needed some assistance in getting a rather important bill paid (the one that keeps the juices flowing to my computer). I've gone to a few different places. All of them Faith based. The final two were churches. The first didn't require anything of me, just a whole hearted, well meant thank you. The 2nd says "you must come to church or we won't give you the money".

Um, ok. Here's the kicker, I don't mind. WHAT??? I don't mind. Really, honestly, I don't mind. Maybe I will come Sunday morning when my butt is being drug out of bed at 7 in the morning so I can get ready to go to the early service, however right now, I don't mind. They are helping me in a way that I really need right now, if they want my butt in that seat on Sunday morning, then there I will be.

Are you ready for the full shock? I think I'll keep going. While I don't think I'll be dedicating my life to Jesus and professing any kind of undying dedication to the Christian faith, I do think that right now, I need some input. The church is a "black" church. I like those. They have better music and much less brimstone. It's more about love and caring. Why is it that us "white folk" must espouse the Horrors of Faith? Why must we be so droll and grim?

I've always gotten the impression that God (all of them mind you) was telling us to be joyous and happy. To live a life well lived full of joy and caring and love. How am I supposed to do that when my religious leader reminds me every week of the horrors that await me if I'm not a "good" christian? If I don't dedicate myself to that ONE faith and scorn all others?

Here's why I'm Pagan. Because I believe so many things that are all encompassing of so many beliefs. I don't think that when you die, you go to Heaven and stay there. I mean, you can if you want, but why not have another go 'round on this big ball of Earth? It was great the first time, why not enjoy it over and over? I don't think that Jesus was the ONLY savior. He called God "my father in heaven". Isn't that how ALL Christians refer to God? I believe in more than one God. Well, no, not quite. It's more one God and one Goddess. Father Sky, Father in the Sky, Father in Heaven. Isn't Heaven IN the sky?

Why Goddess? Because you can't make anything without a male and female. How could our planet have been created without BOTH? How could LIFE have been created without both? Mother Earth. She is the one who nurtures us and holds us close.

So my point is this, I'm going to church and I don't mind. The first time is because I really need to. Though I think that I really need to keep going, at least for a while. Use the time to reconnect. Reorganize. Rethink. Wish me luck.


Kristine said...

I hope you find all the insight you're looking for!

I must say, though, that not every (non-"black") Christian church preaches hellfire and brimstone. At least mine doesn't. I guess I can't speak much for others, since I haven't seen much of their services.

I think you're right with the music. My favorite "Christian" music is a CD by Gladys Knight. Beautiful gospel music.

Serial Mommy said...

around here, the churches i've experienced are either "black" churches or hellfire and brimstone..i have yet to come across a "white" church that ISN'T that's very draining and disheartening to sit through a sermon like that..

Christine said...

I agree with you on this. Church is a place to reconnect with the spirit and communal spirit. I believe the same way you do, there is room for pagans in Christianity... I hope you find the connection you're needing there!