However, I must digress a moment. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!!!! Hehe, I KNOW he reads this blog, he says it's his way to find out what I'm pissed off about easiest. That man knows me so well. My darling love turns 31 on this glorious day. I'll be that age in a few days. For a few short days, he's older than I am. Well, I suppose he's ALWAYS older than I am, even if it's just a few hours. He was born around noon on the 14th. I was born at 6:28 in the morning on the 18th. We were born the same year, if you couldn't figure that out.
On to the two questions and a bucket list. I was watching that tonight, "The Bucket List". It's a damn fine movie. Sad parts that make you want to weep a little, damn funny parts too. A couple of my favorite actors are in it, Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. They are sitting on the Pyramids of Giza. Is that how that is spelled? Anyway...and Morgan Freeman is lecturing (as he is throughout the movie) on various knowledge.
The ancient Egyptians believed that when you died, you were asked two questions at the pearly gate and how you answered those questions is whether you got to go through or not. Now, I personally like this better than someone sitting up there over analyzing everything I've done in my life. The questions are "Have you had joy in your life?" and "Have you brought joy to others?"
Yes, I have had joy. Just the thought of my husband brings me so much joy I smile. My children bring me joy, no matter how I complain about them. They are being children as usual when I do that. However, watching them grow and change and learn and bloom brings me so much joy my heart bursts with it and my eyes weep with it.
Yes, I do believe I've brought joy to others. I am a child to my parents, as my children are to me. I like to believe that they felt about me as I do mine. Jason as well. He has told me that I bring meaning to his life. There are many times where we talk and connect and laugh and just enjoy one another. That's all I need, and if that is what determines whether I deserve everlasting happiness, then I know I've lived a full and wonderful life.
In the movie, the guys make up a list of things they want to do before they kick the bucket, hence the name of the list. What would be on your list? What is on my own list? I've never stopped to ponder my own mortality with a seriousness before. I've wondered what being dead would be like, but more as a ponder than a curiosity I wanted to act on. My biggest worry is to lose Jason before I'm ready for him to go. I know, however, that it will ALWAYS be before I'm ready for him to go, so unless I pass first, I'm screwed on that one.
Are there things that I want to do on my own? Things I want to do with Jason? As a family? This gets me back to fear, and my earlier post. Would the things that I've allowed fear to rule, to intimidate me out of be on that list of things TO do?
So I'm wondering, how would you answer those two questions? And what would be on your bucket list?