Monday, June 30, 2008

Met My Goal

My personal goal was to try to get my blog post count up over 30 by the end of this month. Basically to double it. Now, that won't be a goal every month, to double it, however I do want it to continuously go up each month by at least 15. What's the point of blogging if I don't do it consistently? For next month, I want to have at least 4 picture posts, one for each week of the month. Make it Picture Post Friday or something like that.

Today was the Status Hearing for the Custody with Katy Beth. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it's never good to tell the judge that he has no jurisdiction over a hearing. Yes, Chris did just that. First he was talking about the "pending adoption" again. I've spoken with Jenn about that. It's not going forward. And I wasn't notified of it when it was filed. And I would object to it. Chris is also trying to tell me that custody is based on financial support. I seriously doubt that that is the only criteria. I think spending time with the kids is important too. Chris didn't want to admit to the judge that he hasn't lived with Katy in 4 years. It'll be interesting to see the judge's reaction when we go to court and he hears that while I have katy every month and for quite a bit of time this summer, Chris hasn't seen her since Christmas.

I worked this weekend. 2 Nine Hour Days. Ugh. My feet and legs are screaming in agony. I haven't done that kind of thing in a while. Having 2 weeks off made me soft, soft I tell you! I work again tonight. And tomorrow night. Then I have 2 days off and it all starts all over again.

Jason said last night "Maybe you should quit working". I told we couldn't afford that. He said he'd get a 2nd job. I don't like that idea at all. How would that be better for our family? And I told him that. At least this way, we take turns working and taking care of the kids and house. I'm home more and he's at work more, however it's still taking turns. I can't see how each one of us doing all of just one of those would make it any better. I think it would just make us more resentful as time went on.

We are talking. About money and feelings and all that goes with it. I have a feeling that we will be arguing more, simply because talking about money does that. For some reason, Money is never an easy or peaceful subject. It makes the world go round and it makes everyone stress out about it. Ugh. It sucks.

Today I start tracking my food again. And exercising. Ugh. My goal is to lose about 50 pounds before my sister's wedding at the end of next April. That seems to be a very approachable goal. That's about 1 pound a week. With tracking my food daily and exercising regularly I should be able to meet that goal. It'll be weird to lose this weight that I've been carrying around with me.

I never really "see" myself as fat. Not like I see others. I can look at someone who is "fat" and think "wow, she/he is fat" and then it hits me that odds are, I look like that too. I really hate that. I know it's pure laziness that has gotten me to where I am today. I'm hoping that I will be able to fight my very strong laziness factor and do it anyway. Maybe I'll start living the Nike slogan. I'll just add my own twist. "Just shut up and do it!"

I'm not sure if I'll be going back to church or not. Maybe intermittenly, but I doubt it will be a weekly occurance. The message is good. I just am very uncomfortable being bombarded with the "Jesus is Our ONLY Lord" thing. It completely goes against what I believe. The Only One God thing. And I feel hypocritical for sitting there. Why don't Pagans get together like this? Why are we so disorganized?

And one other thing. I was thinking this as I drifted off to sleep last night. I'm a "blankie" person. I have one blanket that I sleep with. Even if I'm not covered up with it, I still have it near me as I sleep. When I wake in the middle of the night, I reach for it. It comforts me. I was a "blankie" child too. So is James. And Izzy. And I know that they will continue to be that was as they grow in to adults. Why is that OK? To remain a "blankie" person. No, I don't carry the blanket around with me when I go places. I don't even allow Izzy to do that except when we are at home. I broke James of that habit a while ago. However, when I sleep, I "need" that blanket. And that's acceptable socially. Poor James WILL have to give up the thumb. It's ruining his teeth. And Izzy will have to get rid of the sucky. However, at least they will always have their "blankies" to return to, even if it is just in bed.

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