Let's Talk InLaws and Thankful Thursday

Yes, it's Thursday once again here in the Serial Household. The Heathen Horde has caused destruction and chaos as far as the eye can see. Why oh Why is there an IRON on my living room floor? Why oh Why does my darling precocious ever so naughty 2 year old boucing baby boy PERSIST in taking my puzzles OUT of their bags? Why oh Why does my cute adorable ever so drama inclined girly princess 6 year old CONTINUE with the SCREACHING FROM HELL? Why oh Why does my ingenious smart video game obessed never forgets a thing 9 year old so hell bent on terrorizing his younger siblings? As you can see, life continues as it always does around here.

This week I'm thankful I slept, at least a little bit.

I'm thankful Jason's job got their contract. It means that he will soon, most likely, have overtime as it is a VERY LARGE order they must fill in a VERY SHORT period of time (that's my understanding at least) and it's just in time for the holidays too!

I'm thankful I have an awesome landlord who understands that we really WANT to stay here and is willing to work out something with us to show him that. He gets paid, we get to stay, all is GOOD.

Now, let's talk about In-Laws.

How do you feel about them? See, I wouldn't say that I love mine. Not in the way that I love my mom. I care about them, sure. They are a part of the man I love so dearly. I don't call his folks Mom and Dad however. It just seems ODD to me. I have a mom, 2 of them in fact, well technically 3 I guess. I have 2 dads too.

The kids call Jason's folks Grandma and Grandpa. His sister and brother in law are Aunt Audra and Uncle Donnie. However, to me, they are Marian, Dave, Audra, and Donnie. Jason's grandpa IS Grandpan, and Uncle Don (not to be confused with Donnie mind you) IS Uncle Don. I'm not sure WHY this is. Jason also calls my parents by their first names. Vicki, Sue (my step mom, who I also call Sue), and Linda (my ex mother in law that I got in the divorce, I call her Ma), Jim and Jim (my dad and step dad are both named Jim, I know, it's odd).

Now, us referring to the parents of our spouse by their first name doesn't indicate that we care for them less than if we called them Mom and Dad. I never planned on referring to them that way, and I never expected Jason to either. We get cards from them signed "Mom and Dad" and that's great.

Maybe we do it this way because we were together for so long BEFORE we married that it became habit? I think that is only a bit of it. Homer and I were together quite a while before we were married. In fact we were together longer BEFORE we married than AFTER. I always called his mom Ma.

When Jason and I started dating, we had NO intentions of it being a long term together forever sitting our old asses in our rocking chairs on the front porch kind of thing. It was a time of NOW and in the moment. Sex and fun and being friends and hanging out. That is what it was about. Nothing more. Then we fell in love. Oh good lord did we ever.

We both can pinpoint when we knew we loved the other. It took us another few weeks before we said anything. Would you like to know those moments? Of coarse you do, you are just as nosey about that kind of thing as I am about others, isn't that why you read the blogs of everyone chronicalling their lives?

For me. I was living with my brother and sister in law at the time. Their old roommate had bailed. I got the roommate's room, and stepped in where he had slacked off. At that point, it was just me and Jayden living there. James was with Homer in Chicago. Katy was living about 20 min away with Jenn and Chris. Vyky was with her dad about 1/2 hour away, in the opposite direction of Katy. Have I ever mentioned Vyky before? Maybe in passing? Well, this post isn't about her. When her birthday comes up, November 19, I'll do that post to her that day. It'll be the only lucid thing I will do that day. However, I digress.

We were without a phone while it was switched over from the old roommate to Christina. It took about 2 weeks. We didn't have any internet at the time either. This was the very end of August of 2002. Christina had just given birth to my nephew a couple of weeks before. Jason and I had met online, and that is how we primarily talked to one another. It was MUCH cheaper than calling long distance. He lived an hour south of me with his folks.

I had sent him an email, using the library computer, asking him to come up on a certain weekend. I didn't have the chance to go to the library to check my email before the scheduled day. I was working at Toys R Us at the time. It was a pretty good job. It was time for me to get out, and there he was. Standing at the end of the aisle, just watching me work (I was putting away misplaced and returned items). I looked up and I just grinned. I went up to him and gave him the BIGGEST hug. I wanted to kiss him, but I was at work, so I refrained. It felt so good, so happy, so RIGHT, seeing him there, looking at me. I hadn't seen him for a couple of weeks, and just looking at him made me realize what I was missing.

Jason has told me that he realized he loved me when we had a HUGE fight. This was around August as well, I think. Possibly the end of July. He went home, the hour long drive, because he had to work. The whole way home he was crying. He told me that it hurt him SO much to think that he wouldn't see me any more. He honestly felt that we were through, and he just wasn't ready for that, he just didn't want that. I talked to him later that night online (or possibly the next day) and we worked it out. He didn't tell me until much later how hurt he was thinking those thoughts. How affected he was.

When I first got up the nerve to tell Jason that I loved him I said "I think I love you" and without a moment's hesitation he said "That's good because I KNOW I love you". I almost bolted right then. I didn't, and to this day I am so thankful of that. So today, like every day, I'm thankful that instead of following my gut reaction, I just lay there, in Jason's arms, after he told me he loved me that very first time. It got easier to hear, and easier to say, but that first time was so VERY scary for me. I'm also thankful he waited for me. I know now he really wanted to say it long before then, but he waited until I made the first step, he figured I'd handle it better that way. That hubster of mine is a rather smart man.

Prayers and blessings everyone. I hope that you all have a wonderful Halloween or New Year's or All Saint's Day or whatever it is that you celebrate this next weekend. Enjoy the weather and the candy and the fun.

Weighty Wednesday

This is for Momzoo and her Weight Watching Buddies, of which I have become one. This week hasn't gone so well at all. No exercise. Not enough sleep at the right times. That means staying awake all night and the next day and then the following day sleeping TOO much and it all starting over again. I know that those are my TWO big things. Sleep and exercise. I also know that getting good amounts of both, regularly, will do WONDERS for myself. I have a deadline in mind. My sister is getting married at the end of April. I am the Matron of Honor. What does this mean? It means that I am going to be getting my picture taken, A LOT. I would like to be down at least 20 pounds by then. More than that would be AWESOME! I am going to get a tummy flatner so I have a bit of a "smoother" shape. I'm not expecting miracles. I am figuring about a pound a week.

On another issue, I'm making raised donuts from scratch. I have had a SERIOUS craving for donuts lately. Tomorrow (well, later today) I'll be making them up. Right now I have the dough sitting, covered, waiting for 8 hours or so to raise. Wish me luck, I've never done anything like this before! I'm trying to find that Domestic Goddess. She seems rather elusive lately.

I slept most of the day today, so it will once again be an all night thing. I'll go work on the dining room while I'm awake. I want to make a nice dent in it. I still haven't started James costume. I'm hoping that it will be cold enough that he would have to wear his winter coat and then no one would see the costume anyway. He has boots and a hat, and he can wear those anyway. I know, it's a total slacker way out. I feel ALMOST ashamed by it.

Prayers and blessings everyone. I'll update later when I've made the donuts. I'll take pics of the finished product and let you all know how the fam likes them!

The Oddball That Is Me

OK, this post was COMPLETELY inspired by Miss Britt. She was posting how she went to the photo shoot for the Hottest Blogger Calendar. I'll end up buying one, just to have it by my desk.

She was talking about how she just didn't know what to do with herself in front of the camera. I completely sympathize with this plight. I don't know how to act "natural" with someone staring at me, with this huge APPARATUS pointing at me. I feel so critiqued and bored in to with the staring eye of that camera. So I end up being silly and goofy. Every freekin' time. So here is a sampling of me, and that silliness. You can kind of tell how old they are by the age reference of Jayden. I'll start with the newest pics and work my way back, with a briefest of brief description before each group.

First off is our most recent endeavor in the realm of family portraits. I posted a couple of weeks ago the digi versions of those. We got the film back this past Friday. These are definately some of the more silly shots, at least containing ME.





Next up we have me modeling the dress that I bought for my sister's bridal shower. Keep in mind that my darling younger sister isn't getting married until April of 2009. The very END of April at that. The bridal shower will be at the end of March. However, I was out shopping one evening, escaping from the kids. I was at the mall, and I went to Dress Barn, where Jenn works. I found a $50 for $20. It is linen and PERFECT for the Tea Party theme that I have in mind for the shower. So I bought it. I tried it on and I realized I have a LOT of slimming that I need to do in order to make it fit better. Because I was SO uncomfortable, I once again acted silly as all get out. This is what happened because of that.



How about weddings? That is a time for serious faces. Thinking about the futur ahead and all that folderall, right? Um, WRONG! Again, the camera comes my way and I'm acting the fool! To follow are pics from my own wedding. Yes, we were married on a bridge over a waterfall. I also made my dress and did a great deal of *assisting* with Teresa's dress. The last photo is at my younger brother's wedding. He would be the really tall guy all in black. My mom was saying "Damnit you guys, I want a NICE photo!"









More posed photos later. Jason was trying SO hard to get some nice ones of me. I really wanted them done. However, that whole "stage fright" thing set in, and when I get I get nervous or scared, out comes the sillies!





Of coarse, last but not least. These photos were taken on the day that Jason formally proposed. AWWW. We were sitting out front documenting Jayden's extreme cuteness with her very first S'More. Me, I'm pretending the camera just isn't there. After all, isn't that what you are SUPPOSED to do? Don't mind the fat and all of that. It was HOT and HUMID and after 4 kids, it's what a body looks like.







Remember, life is to be lived to the fullest, silliness and all. In fact, the more silly and goofy you are, I think it shows the more fun you are having. Prayers and blessings everyone. Enjoy the rest of your week, and make sure to take the time to laugh, be silly, goof off, and get it on film!

Almost Silent Sunday

I don't know what I want to use for pics this week, so I'll edit this space most likely tomorrow after I think on it. Prayers and blessings everyone, I hope you have a great week.


All right, I know it's technically Tuesday now. However I have a couple of different photo posts to do, so this will be the 1st, and then I'll do a new and different one for Tuesday, cool?

First off, 3D Pictograms. Some times called stereograms. Yes, those things you stare at and are supposed to see the "magic" picture. When I was younger, I could NOT do them, at all, ever. I was Ross from "Friends". I didn't see a boat or the Statue of Liberty or the Bunny or none of it! For some reason, now that I'm older, I CAN see them. Maybe it's my failing eyesight. Maybe I'm slowly slipping in to insanity and it's easier to "un-focus" the eyes a bit. Maybe it's easier for me to allow my mind to "see but not see". Who cares. I got the following ones from a site called 3D Stereograms - Eye Tricks. Go there and check out the HUNDREDS they have to offer.

In the meantime, enjoy the 6 I'm offering you here.

Thankful Thursday

What oh what am I thankful for today?

Jason has a job. That is going to be an ongoing one. This country (I mean the U.S. for any non-U.S. readers, do I even have any of those?) is in a recession. Of coarse they don't want to admit it, however it's true. So being thankful that Jason is gainfully employed is improtant.

We are all, in general, healthy. We don't need to see a doctor for our ailments, at least not the physical ones. No colds or puking or anything of the like.

We have a roof over our heads. With uncertain times comes uncertain everything. Being able to have a roof over our heads is certainly a thing to be thankful for.

I know it's short, but it's simple and to the point, and that is what Thankful Thursday is all about. Prayers and blessings everyone, I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Mommy, Just Read the Freekin' Book

"How doth the little crocodile
Improve his shining tail,
And pour the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale!

"How cheerfully he seems to grin,
How neatly he spreads his claws,
And welcomes little fishes in,
With gently smiling jaws!"

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

The version that we are reading is illustrated by S. Michelle Wiggins. I don't know if it's abridged or not. I'm assuming so considering it IS a child's book, but I could be wrong. We've made it to "A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale" which is the 3rd chapter in this version. Now, please let me know if I'm wrong, but where is the Jabberwockie poem? Is that in "Wonderland" or is that in "Through the Looking Glass"?

The title of this post? That is what Jayden said to me, word for word, when I started laughing at the above poem. That poem is one of my fav's of all time. It's absolutely HILARIOUS to me!

To try to espouse the values of reading, and the learning of how, I am currently reading "Alice" to Jayden on a nightly basis. We get through a chapter or two and then it's time to quit. I'm hoping that she understands that by learning to read, she can read all kinds of great books like "Alice". Knowing my daughter, however, she'll just think she can have ME read to her all of those great books.

Jayden frustrates me to no end. She is a smart smart girl. She just doesn't have the drive, the desire to learn. It's not in her. She fights it tooth and nail. I don't know how to light that fire in her. I'm at a loss. I keep pushing her to do the work. She is able, she just doesn't want to. So she stalls and cries and fusses and stalls some more. It was her strategy at "regular" school and why her teacher thought she didn't know nearly what she does.

James is a different story. While he doesn't like the work, he will do it, and does really well doing it on his own. I do need to start working with both of them in more hands on kind of way. Doing other subjects and projects and that kind thing with them. I've been slacking in that area, relying pretty heavily on their workbooks. While I am going to keep using them, I want to start branching out. I'd like to have them learn at least the names of all 50 states by the summer, with James possibly knowing the capitals as well, along with finding them on a map. I also need to start figuring out science stuff.

Prayers and blessings everyone. Enjoy your reading, and sharing the joy of it with others. Kiss your librarian, or at least make sure to tell them a big thank you!

Tired and Angry.

Yeah, that sums me up lately. Not really sure why. Read the previous post to find out what I'm going to do about it.

Sure we have money stress. Everyone does right now. It's how it goes, the cycle of life and all of that.

I'm tired and worn out and angry about it. Jason is feeling the brunt, but he also isn't helping it.

Ok, before I go any further, you need to understand that this isn't just a "Jason Bashing" thing. I write about all kinds of stuff. I love my husband dearly, with all of my heart. Lately, we've been having issues. Me with being angry and tired all the time and him with just being tired all the time. I feel that if he went for the sleep study using the machine, he'd sleep better. He doesn't want to be reliant on a machine to sleep. Damn stubborn man. On the upside, I'd be able to turn off the fan because the noise of his machine would work the same as the fan does for me.

I've been swearing a lot, and boy do I mean a lot. Last week fucking sucked. It's really personal, and super sensitive, so it's not something that I am going to share publicly. Those directly involved in my life know about it. It involved James and me and all kinds of crazy shit happened afterward.

I must rant against overzealous govermental types who are so so willing to convict before the facts are in and don't take the time to listen and understand to those they are trying to convict. I know karma will come back on them (her) but it's hard to keep that thought some times, especially when I'm the one being wrongfully persecuted. Thankfully, this time at least, the police weren't involved.

Which brings me to something else. What the HELL is wrong with my son?? Why can't he "function" like "normal" people? Admittedly, I often wonder what normal is. However, this just CAN'T continue! Lately he has decided that he wants to be a cat when he grows up! A CAT! And he's serious! What the fuck is that??? He goes around rubbing on people, purring, and hissing at them. UGH!

Welcome to my life and how I live it. I do have to ask, do you ever get to the point where you say "what the fuck is the point anymore?" and you just screw it up even more just because it's pointless? I know, it's self destructive. I get that. I really want to fix that way of thinking.

I feel like I'm getting no support from Jason. He wants a clean house, so I work on it. Last week was fucked, but other than that, I've been doing a pretty good job. Even with a cleaner house, he's always too tired. Too tired to be with us, his family. He wants to go off and lay in bed and read or sit in the office and play on the computer with the door closed. I don't even get the luxery of closing the damn door to the bathroom when he is home and he can go close the office door, for hours??? When I'm sitting on the computer, working on ChaCha, real work, paying work, I still have to get up and go break up fights and cook dinner and keep Izzy from tearing things up while he lays his ass in bed reading or sleeping or both! I get two days a week where I honestly get to sleep in with no worries. And more often than not, I'm woken up by a 2 year old screaming because Dad just isn't getting it or I'm woken by Dad screaming at the 2 year old or the kids because he's so damn frustrated with it all.

Yes, I'm angry. I started this post with that statement. I'm also tired. Worn out, bones deep weary, dragging ass sleep all day and all night TIRED.

I'm an insomniac. Sleep does NOT come easily to me at all. It is very very rarely deep and restful for any significant amount of time. I've tried medications. They either don't work well enough to put me to sleep, or I wake up groggy as hell. Either circumstance makes them not worth it. Falling asleep is hard for me. Staying asleep is even harder.

Oooh, I know. I can send the kids to "real" school and take a nap every day with Izzy. Yeah, that will work SO well. I'll be getting regular calls from the school about James. I'll be wondering if Jayden is actually learning anything because of her stall tactics. It seems like adding another headache to the mix, not alleviating one.

I can go back to work. Jenn told me last night I was happier when I worked. Part of me was. Ironically, nothing was being dealt with when I worked. I would come home and the kids would have eaten mac n cheese for dinner 4 nights in a row and Jason was barely eating at all. Jason would clean the main part of the house. Wait, he would pick up the main part of the house. The upstairs would get worse and worse. James and Jayden would just run around, watching movies and sleeping all day. Izzy would be constantly catered to or ignored, depending on Jason's mood. He would try, but he has said himself he prefers me at home, even if money is tighter. I might have been happier being out of the house when I was working, but when I was at home, it was just that much MORE I had to deal with.

If Jason gets around to reading this, he doesn't read this blog regularly, he will be upset that I didn't go to him about it, didn't talk to him about it. It wouldn't matter if I did, he'd just fall asleep. We are at an impasse. I'm trying to figure out what I need to do to make my end better, but I can't do his part for him. I'm amazing and talented, but that goes beyond my abilities. Maybe it wouldn't hurt so much if I actually felt like he wanted to be awake and spending time with us.

Prayers and blessings everyone. Try to find your inner peace. I think we all need that right now, more than ever.

I've decided.

I'm going to start doing something Jason really doesn't want me to. He really can't give me reasons why, though I have my suspicions. It won't be an easy thing for me at all. I'm not going to particularly like it. When it comes to things I really don't like, I avoid them like the plague. However, it's gotten to the point where I can't do that any more. It's interfereing with me, with my family, with my relationships with everyone. Ironically, I'm not even sure what IT is. I can see it, I know it's there, but to say what it is, well, that is another fete indeed.

What is it I'm going to do? Therapy. Ugh. Go once a week, or every couple of weeks and talk with someone about what is bothering, what issues I'm having with life and try to get to the root of it all to maybe, just maybe, find some healing.

Why doesn't Jason want me to do this? This thing that may, or may not, find some healing and help improve who I am overall? I don't know for sure. However, what I THINK is that he wants to fix me himself. He loves me, he cares for me and about me. Maybe he feels that whatever is "broken" or "off kilter" he can remedy?

We've been doing it like that for quite some time. It's done some good. Hell, it's done a lot of good. I'm to the point where I need something more than just late night talks with the "Hubster". This doesn't mean I don't want those talks any more. Far from it. However, even after them I'm not finding the answers I need.

I know there are plenty who would say "turn to God". You have to believe that God is an entity out of your control in order for that to work first. I think my belief is that God is really ourselves. Sacrilidge! I know, I know. However, the mind is a mighty powerful thing, and we all have the abilities to change ourselves. Wouldn't prayer just be a form of self focus and meditation? However, I once again digress.

Jason does not have the life experiences that I do. He grew up in a completely different way than I did. Jason has never done some of the things that I have. He has never handled situations that I have. We have our lives together now. We got here from two very different points of direction.

Jason gets depressed. Maybe even more so than some people. When he was in high school and college he felt like an outsider, and did young kid kind of things, like drinking and fooling around with drugs. When he went home at night, he had a stable and loving environment to sleep soundly in, knowing that when he woke up the next, it would still be there and there was no threat to it, not really. Yes, he had trials and tribulations and the people around him did to, but it was NOT remotely traumatic, EXCEPT that his mother had breast cancer (which she beat) when he was in high school.

My life up to Jason was the anti-thesis to stability. It was chaos, pure and simple. Even as a child, I didn't know what to expect or when. There were years when I suffered through physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, some of them when I was at a very young age. There are many days when I sit down and look at myself and say "how the hell can I give my children what I never had, what I can only think of?"

Now don't go saying I'm blaming my parents here. Yes, they made mistakes, hell, they are people too. However, they did the best they could, or at least in theory they did. I'm not a judge. I do not get to say "You were wrong!" I wasn't in their shoes, thinking their thoughts, living their lives for them. I can only know what I know through experiencing and sharing my life with theirs. My perceptions may, or may not, hell most likely definatly not, be the whole story.

I'm done blaming myself on my past, my parents. It's time to let it go. To learn the lessons and let it lie. Every day, I get older and all of that gets 1 day further away from who I am right now, from who I was then. I need help in this journey. Guidance. Something that, while it will hurt Jason's pride, I know he can't give to me. Sometimes, he is the issue. That's honesty at it's best. I know there are times when I'm the issue for him. He has said as much.

There are so many things I want to do, want to be. Jason has no idea how to go about doing them. His response is simply "so do it". I run highly with self destructive behavior. I see it in me, I have recently begun to really recognize it. How I change it is another thing entirely. Do I want to change it? You'd think the answer would be yes. I know it SHOULD be yes. It makes me wonder though. By the way, it's not sex. When I was younger, that was part of it. Now, it's not.

Have you ever noticed how you are scared of change? What really is so intimidating about? It's just different, that's all. It's unknown. It is not how we have been doing things all along. When things are broken, wouldn't you want to fix them, even if the answer is something new and different and vastly unfamiliar? That's the kicker. Sometimes, broken is better simply because it isn't new. You can function in broken, you know what to expect (to an extent) and that makes it easier and less intimidating than new and different. However, it's STILL broken.

And that is where I need help. I need to find out how to get out of broken. How to brave the new and different and fixed. What if I don't like who I am? What if....well, that list could go on and on. It's not time to think of what if I do but to focus on what if I don't? I've never stopped to think of that part of it before. I need to. I won't fix the broken, change the ways, learn the new, unless I really grasp what could happen if I just leave it broken.

I try every day to get James the help he needs to be healthy and happy and grow up to be a good strong man who can care for himself, and maybe a family. Why would I fight so hard for him and not myself? Wouldn't it make sense that a fixed Mommy could better help the broken Son?

With that, I will leave this. I'll update on the therapy. Let you know how it goes. Share what I'm learning. Maybe it will help someone else. Prayers and blessings everyone.

Almost Silent Sunday

This is going to be a regular Sunday happening around here. Pics from the week to go up on Sunday. Well, not JUST Sundays, but definately ON Sundays. For most ladies it is called "Silent Sunday". I'm just too much of a talker for that, so mine are Almost Silent Sundays. Thank you Brandi, over at My Mountain Morning, for the idea.

Today, we went to my mom's. While there, we went to a Corn Maze at New Salem Farms. Is it New Salem Farms or is that just the name of the maze? I have no idea. My mom was telling me that it was called New Salem because it's where the witches who were fleeing persecution during the Salem Witch Trials came to set up a new coven. I need to do more research to figure out how accurate that is or not.

As this is Almost Silent Sunday, I'll get on with the photos! We went to the maze with my sis, Katie, my nephew, Alex, my mom and step-dad, also known as Dad around here. Jason stayed home for an afternoon/evening of rest, relaxation, and cleaning.

We went in to the maze down at the bottom, by the teeth of the skull. We came out at the top, by the clouds. The above shots are taken from the bridge, which is the big white thing in the middle. We got to a false start. We got all kinds of turned around. Ironically, James was leading the way to begin with and he was going in the right direction! He thought we were in a completely different part of the maze, but he had us going the right way at least! The kids also each got a pumpkin and we'll be painting those this week.

The photos of the scarecrows and the hay bale creations are off center because I was taking them from the back of the wagon. We rode the wagon to the beginning of the maze and once we came out and picked our pumpkins, took the wagon back to the farm. I'll let the photos speak for themselves from this point. Enjoy!

Saturday Morning and A Purse

Around these here parts, weekends mean I sleep in and Jason gets up with the kids. This includes breakfast on most occassions. On some days I can be persuaded to rise before 11 and make the coveted "Big Breakfast" myself. OK, persuaded isn't the right word. Having a 2 year old cry right outside your bedroom door (having your bedroom just off of the kitchen SUCKS some times) is well "persuasion" enough.

Jason is THE pancake maker in the house. I taught him how to make them long ago and in a galaxy far far away. Well, not quite like that. It was about 6 years ago. He's been making them ever since. Aside from pouring a mean bowl of cereal, it is his breakfast contribution to this family. Eggs, bacon, sausage, french toast, breakfast bagels, all of that are all on me. On occassion Dad can be asked (read: BEGGED) to make pancakes. And he does an AWESOME job!





While Jason was standing there, watching the pancakes cook with an every present mind, I asked him to model Katy's purse for me. He has always been a good sport, and ever so goofy and laugh inducing while he was at it! It is the style that I am using when I make the winner's purse. Oh wait, no one has entered! Jenn has said she wanted to win. She thinks she should get a 2nd one. What do you think?





The purse won't be in the same color for the simple reason of I'm rather sure I don't have enough of that color left. I was thinking a soft rose and cream. I have a lot of those colors. Or a variegated blue bucle. Yeah, I know, if you don't know yarn, that makes NO sense. It's SUPER soft and SUPER pretty.

Prayers and blessings on your weekends everyone. I'm being called to the table to enjoy the pancakes now. Maybe tomorrow we'll do Big Breakfast Mommy Style?

100th Post

Thank you all for participating, the contest is now closed. Brandi, at My Mountain Morning is the winner! I didn't pick it. I had Jenn do it because I couldn't. She randomly picked a number (between 1 and 5, how many entrants there were) and she picked 4! Brandi, I'll contact you over on your blog to find out what color you would like your purse! Oh, and other ladies, if you want purses, just let me know, I have tons of yarn laying about and I'll be happy to make them for you too! I know, I suck at contests. I'm that way with my kids too!


OOOOOOHHHHH!!! Aw come on, you know you wanna say it too! 100 posts! Holy Toledo Batman! I'm sure if I posted every day, I would have suprpassed that long ago, especially considering there are more than 3x that in a year. I digress. No big give away to celebrate, I'm sorry, but we are horridly POOR! Hehe. Oh, I can make you a purse. Unless you are a guy. Then I don't know what to tell you. Let me see, what to do to earn your purse? Leave a comment. In your comment, tell me what you would do if you have a 100th birthday.

I'd post a pic of a purse in similar style, however I can't find the damn camera right now. i'm not sure where it is. I know I need to clean my office, but this is a bit ridiculous! Oh, and Jenn, while you can comment to your heart's content, you are disqualified because I'm already making you a purse.

Anyway, it's my first contest! Ha!

I missed Thankful Thursday. I know I know. Slacker! Um, in my defense I have had a CRAPTACULAR week. It all started on Monday and it just kept going downhill until yesterday. Yesterday cleared stuff up and I was so relieved that my very worn out butt headed to bed at 6:30. I didn't intend on sleeping all night long, I really didn't. However, that is EXACTLY what I did. I woke up at 5 this morning. Yes, I know the date says Saturday, I'm still on Friday though. I will be heading to bed shortly in fact.

Damn, now I'm going to wonder where the hell the camera is. I wonder if Jason knows. We found it behind the t.v. once. This is going to drive me batty!

Prayers and blessings everyone. I hope you all have a splendiferous weekend. We will be doing a lot of housework. I will be working on James' costume. Halloween is just 2 weeks away and I took the pattern out of the package for the first time today. Oy Vey.

I Spy with My Little Eye

I've been Memed again. I love how I find them randomly and then get tagged that way, it's fun! Sophie had the Meme from Kat on her blog so I followed good naturedly over to Kat's blog and got memed myself! Her rules are to make it random and long winded, I believe I can do both. After all, one of my labels is "I digress". Uh, yeah. Oh, and consider yourself tagged. I think you should go over to Kat and get it from there, but hey, you don't wanna, that's all right, I'll pass it along from here.

By the way, at some point in the future, I will have my interview with Sophie completed (we are still in the emailing back and forth stage) and will post it up here. Huh? Interview? Why are you doing interviews? Head on over to Neil and you can figure it out. It's The Great Blog Interview. Sign up. Take it from there.

I'm going to do my meme with the help of a couple of pics. It's very random and has the potential for some great longwindedness. We are going to discuss The Things on My Desk at this Current Time. Here are the pics.





OK. See what I'm talking about, lots of things that are random. Let's start with the monitor. That wallpaper is something I won for completely a badge at Pogo . I love Pogo. They have all kinds of games you can play. A lot of them are free. Personally, I feel the $4.99 I pay a month for membership is WELL worth it.

The green mug in the foreground is a coffee mug. I have two of them that size. I got them on clearence from Meijer last year around Christmas time when I got my teapot. I've recently started drinking coffee. I've never been a coffee drinker before. I always found it too bitter for my liking. However, I need something that is less sugar than soda, and keeps the caffine kick up for a while. I tried some mixed flavored stuff at the gas station. It worked REALLY well. Now I'm making it at home. I take Folgers French Vanilla and some Instant Hot Cocoa and brew them together. When I make my cup of coffee, I use International Delights Irish Cream Refridgerated Creamer. MMMMMMM. Not a ton of sugar, like soda has. The caffine benefits are still there AND I'm not getting the sugar crash after a couple of hours like I would with Mt. Dew, Cherry Coke, and Dr. Pepper. Also, the coffee is cheaper per serving.

I love the lamp on my desk. It used to sit in the dining room. We moved things around out there and it wasn't being used, so I put it on the desk. The shade has some great beading on it, and the base is wood. It's cute and ecclectic, like me! We have 2 of them. The other is in the bedroom on Jason's side of the bed for a reading lamp.

The bottle of lotion is Bath and Body Works Pleasures in Mango Mandarin scent. They don't make it any more. I've had that bottle for a couple of years at least. The lotion doesn't work so great as lotion any more, however the scent is still strong and wonderful so I'll use it for that.

Ah yes, the pill bottles. The ones that are free standing belong to James. I turned them so you can't read his full name, our address, or the meds he's taking. I don't think the world at large needs to know those things, do you? yes, there are 4 bottles. He actually takes 5 meds a day. 2 in the mornings, 3 at night.

Next to James' meds is a dragon Jason made for me out of polymer clay. The green thing laying down is a really cool green man also made of polymer clay. When it is daylight, I'll set it up so I can take a better pic of it (the green man). He's really cute. The brown woman is also made of polymer clay. She's a tree nymph. Jason has a LOT of talent when it comes to using the clay to make shapes and what not. I've asked him to make me beads for my knot work. Like me, he is Gemini and we are procrastinators. I suppose if I ever get to the point of needing the beads, he'll get to the point of making them for me.

We only drink Aquafina water. I've tried others and I don't like the flavor. I like aquafina because it's flavorless, no after taste. To me, that's how water should taste. More often than not, the kids drink from the tap. They need the flouride. They have large refillable bottles to drink from.

The packet of papers next to the monitor is my notepad, a bill I need to call on, my checkbook, and some forms I need to fill out for James. The notepad is all important. When I'm writing things down while on the phone, or making shopping lists, that pad is where I go.

The metal pen holder is a recent addition to the desk. It's been about 4 or 5 months that I've had it. I needed something more suited to holding pens and misc. desk crap. Currently it has my scrip for folic acid, my bottle of baby asprin, a bunch of pens, sharpies, and highlighters, a staple remover, 2 nail clippers, a pencil sharpener, a nail file, a seam ripper, and a heart shaped piece of jade. In the drawer are staples.

My mouse pad says "Little Miss Trouble". I thought it was cute and for only $1 at Target, a deal I couldn't pass up. That mouse pad changes regularly, about every 6 months or so. I've got quite a few of them around the house.

There is a regular deck of Bicycle brand (in blue) cards and a deck of cards specifically for the game war. They are big and meant to be a little more child friendly in size. I recently (as in the last month) taught the kids how to play war and I am still teaching James how to play Gin. Once he has Gin down, we are moving on to Rummy.

The screwdriver is my favorite and most used tool. It has an adjustable shaft/tip combo that is good for 5 different needs. 2 philips, 2 straight edge, and one nut tightener. I am CONSTANTLY trying to figure out where the thing is. It gets put in all kinds of places.

There are coupons for ciggies for Jason, and for a local pizza place. Receipts from shopping that need to be tossed or organized. A strand of hemp that I'm using as a belly measurement for the Biggest Loser competition I'm in on one of the message boards I belong to. I can't find any of my fabric tape measures, something else that happens frequently around here, so this is my substitute. I also have the ruler I used for it on here as well. The papers have random numbers and needed info on them. Notes from Jason's game playing.

If you look under the monitor, you will see a window lock (it came off and hasn't been put back on), another seam ripper, some misc papers (cards for hot tubs and bank account info) and a lot of water bottle caps. I take the caps off and then just never put them back on once the bottle is done. Go figure. On the main part of the desk there is also a pen (black) and a half eaten pretzel rod (thank you Izzy). The 2 cd's that you can see are The Sims Making Magic, both discs.

The batteries are AA in size and the size that we most frequently go through. I really need to buy stock in Rayovac because it seems like once a month I'm buying a big pack of them. Behind James' meds is a roll of wide masking tape.

Now keep in mind, I have no idea how or why most of this random stuff is up here. It just is. It either is in it's place, or it hasn't been put in it's place, or it doesn't have a place and it is using the desk as it's temporary home. Do you think you can learn a lot from someone by looking at their desk? Did you learn a lot from mine?

Prayers and blessings everyone. Monday was a pretty stressful day to me, and now Tuesday won't be much better, so I hope you don't mind my random meanderings as a pleasent distraction. Yes, it really is 5:43 in the morning now. It's a long drawn out story for another day. Have a pleasent day yourselves.

Family Pics and House Repairs

This next week brings us Oct. 15. On the 15th, there will be a home inspection. Houses for rent need to be inspected annually to ensure that they are habitable. At least that's how they do it here. So there is a last mad dash and scramble to get things cleaned up (BLECH) and repaired. My dad is over today to repair the front door and the ceiling upstairs. Both things he said he would do.

I have been doing all right with adding exercise to my schedule. I'm accomplishing on average at least one 10 minute segment of pilates or yoga a day. I'm really trying to make it consistently both. Once I am comfortably ensconed in that, I'll be extending the sessions, working my way up to 30 minutes a day for each. Every so often I take a day off, I'm working on keeping that from being habit as well. It's so hard sometimes to start back up after a day off, and I don't want to lose the flow that I've been getting.

We did family pics in the park yesterday. I'm trying to decide if I want to post them all here or not. Who am I kidding, of coarse I do. So without further ado, family pics. I do need to say that most of the pics that are blurry were done by either James or Katy. The one of the 4 of them, I did, but I was also distracted trying to get James to cooperate and Izzy to just sit there. Jason took film pics too, so I'm hoping that those will have turned out better.

The weather was gorgeous thankfully. Of coarse, I wanted pics taken in sweaters and it was 80 degrees! I had everyone put on shirts under their sweaters so they could take off the hot shirts when they weren't needed in pics. We didn't get any of Jason and the girls, or me and each kid, or Jason and each kid, like I want to get, but we can always do it again later.

Izzy really was having nothing of taking the pics. It's why he's always crying or frowning. James wasn't too pleased either until Katy knocked over Jayden to see if that would make him smile. It worked, in fact it made him break out laughing! Jason got some pics of Izzy on the slide, so I'm hoping those turned out well enough to not need to try to do another photo shoot with Izyy.

A lot of people tell me that the girls look like me. I find this funny. I know that they resemble me, it's inevitable after all. I think Katy is the most beautiful girl I've ever known and that Jayden will grow up to be quite a looker. However, I don't see myself this way at all, and that is what makes the comparison of how I look compared to them funny in my eyes. I know Jason would disagree with me.

As you can see, it was a gorgeous day. The fall colors are starting to come out in full force around here. Sitting there in the park, watching the kids play, looking at all the beauty surrounding me reminded me of why I don't want to move from this state. No matter the economic issues or anything like that, fall and winter are really my favorite times of year and I won't give those up for an all year 'round sunshine fest.

Prayers and blessings everyone. I hope you all had a wonderful and relaxing weekend to be able to start off the week on a fresh foot.