Thursday, October 30, 2008

Let's Talk InLaws and Thankful Thursday

Yes, it's Thursday once again here in the Serial Household. The Heathen Horde has caused destruction and chaos as far as the eye can see. Why oh Why is there an IRON on my living room floor? Why oh Why does my darling precocious ever so naughty 2 year old boucing baby boy PERSIST in taking my puzzles OUT of their bags? Why oh Why does my cute adorable ever so drama inclined girly princess 6 year old CONTINUE with the SCREACHING FROM HELL? Why oh Why does my ingenious smart video game obessed never forgets a thing 9 year old so hell bent on terrorizing his younger siblings? As you can see, life continues as it always does around here.

This week I'm thankful I slept, at least a little bit.

I'm thankful Jason's job got their contract. It means that he will soon, most likely, have overtime as it is a VERY LARGE order they must fill in a VERY SHORT period of time (that's my understanding at least) and it's just in time for the holidays too!

I'm thankful I have an awesome landlord who understands that we really WANT to stay here and is willing to work out something with us to show him that. He gets paid, we get to stay, all is GOOD.

Now, let's talk about In-Laws.

How do you feel about them? See, I wouldn't say that I love mine. Not in the way that I love my mom. I care about them, sure. They are a part of the man I love so dearly. I don't call his folks Mom and Dad however. It just seems ODD to me. I have a mom, 2 of them in fact, well technically 3 I guess. I have 2 dads too.

The kids call Jason's folks Grandma and Grandpa. His sister and brother in law are Aunt Audra and Uncle Donnie. However, to me, they are Marian, Dave, Audra, and Donnie. Jason's grandpa IS Grandpan, and Uncle Don (not to be confused with Donnie mind you) IS Uncle Don. I'm not sure WHY this is. Jason also calls my parents by their first names. Vicki, Sue (my step mom, who I also call Sue), and Linda (my ex mother in law that I got in the divorce, I call her Ma), Jim and Jim (my dad and step dad are both named Jim, I know, it's odd).

Now, us referring to the parents of our spouse by their first name doesn't indicate that we care for them less than if we called them Mom and Dad. I never planned on referring to them that way, and I never expected Jason to either. We get cards from them signed "Mom and Dad" and that's great.

Maybe we do it this way because we were together for so long BEFORE we married that it became habit? I think that is only a bit of it. Homer and I were together quite a while before we were married. In fact we were together longer BEFORE we married than AFTER. I always called his mom Ma.

When Jason and I started dating, we had NO intentions of it being a long term together forever sitting our old asses in our rocking chairs on the front porch kind of thing. It was a time of NOW and in the moment. Sex and fun and being friends and hanging out. That is what it was about. Nothing more. Then we fell in love. Oh good lord did we ever.

We both can pinpoint when we knew we loved the other. It took us another few weeks before we said anything. Would you like to know those moments? Of coarse you do, you are just as nosey about that kind of thing as I am about others, isn't that why you read the blogs of everyone chronicalling their lives?

For me. I was living with my brother and sister in law at the time. Their old roommate had bailed. I got the roommate's room, and stepped in where he had slacked off. At that point, it was just me and Jayden living there. James was with Homer in Chicago. Katy was living about 20 min away with Jenn and Chris. Vyky was with her dad about 1/2 hour away, in the opposite direction of Katy. Have I ever mentioned Vyky before? Maybe in passing? Well, this post isn't about her. When her birthday comes up, November 19, I'll do that post to her that day. It'll be the only lucid thing I will do that day. However, I digress.

We were without a phone while it was switched over from the old roommate to Christina. It took about 2 weeks. We didn't have any internet at the time either. This was the very end of August of 2002. Christina had just given birth to my nephew a couple of weeks before. Jason and I had met online, and that is how we primarily talked to one another. It was MUCH cheaper than calling long distance. He lived an hour south of me with his folks.

I had sent him an email, using the library computer, asking him to come up on a certain weekend. I didn't have the chance to go to the library to check my email before the scheduled day. I was working at Toys R Us at the time. It was a pretty good job. It was time for me to get out, and there he was. Standing at the end of the aisle, just watching me work (I was putting away misplaced and returned items). I looked up and I just grinned. I went up to him and gave him the BIGGEST hug. I wanted to kiss him, but I was at work, so I refrained. It felt so good, so happy, so RIGHT, seeing him there, looking at me. I hadn't seen him for a couple of weeks, and just looking at him made me realize what I was missing.

Jason has told me that he realized he loved me when we had a HUGE fight. This was around August as well, I think. Possibly the end of July. He went home, the hour long drive, because he had to work. The whole way home he was crying. He told me that it hurt him SO much to think that he wouldn't see me any more. He honestly felt that we were through, and he just wasn't ready for that, he just didn't want that. I talked to him later that night online (or possibly the next day) and we worked it out. He didn't tell me until much later how hurt he was thinking those thoughts. How affected he was.

When I first got up the nerve to tell Jason that I loved him I said "I think I love you" and without a moment's hesitation he said "That's good because I KNOW I love you". I almost bolted right then. I didn't, and to this day I am so thankful of that. So today, like every day, I'm thankful that instead of following my gut reaction, I just lay there, in Jason's arms, after he told me he loved me that very first time. It got easier to hear, and easier to say, but that first time was so VERY scary for me. I'm also thankful he waited for me. I know now he really wanted to say it long before then, but he waited until I made the first step, he figured I'd handle it better that way. That hubster of mine is a rather smart man.

Prayers and blessings everyone. I hope that you all have a wonderful Halloween or New Year's or All Saint's Day or whatever it is that you celebrate this next weekend. Enjoy the weather and the candy and the fun.

1 comment:

Brandi said...

Hi Jamie!

I'm so sorry, I totally forgot to email you and now I can't find your address! Maybe you left it in a comment...I'll have to go back through them.

Anyway, as far as color goes, surprise me! I love surprises. I love just about every color...I trust that you will pick a good one! :0)

Thanks again, I'm really excited about it! Could you come over and leave me your email again so I can send you my address.

And, so that this comment is "post relevant", I call my in-laws by their first names, too. I don't know, it just never came natural to me to call them "Mom" and "Dad". If I send them a card or letter from the whole family, I call them "Nan" and "Pap".

Sorry to write a book in your comment section! LOL